Romney’s clean screens

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Miitt Romney, the Republicans’ top family values and big love candidate, is fearful of the internet because… he doesn’t know anything about it. Over the last few weeks, he has been turning his campaign into an anti-internet-porn crusade, taking a strong stand against sexual predators on “these networking sites.” He wants to lock up the predators “for long periods” and then “monitor them for life with GPS,” so there will be “no more walking around on the streets” for them “no more in places where there is access to children.” Mitt Romney, he’s the candidate who’s out to protect our children!

How serious is he? Very. He’s now proposing that every computer sold in America come with some kind of filtering device that would block pornography. How will that work? It won’t. Why? Because it’s assinine. How assinine? Very. Does he know that? No. In speaking about it, our new internet guru confused MySpace and YouTube.

“YouTube is a website that allows kids to network with one another and make friends and contact each other. YouTube looked to see if they had any convicted sex offenders on their website. They had 29,000.”

The sex offender statistic was released by MySpace this week. Romney has clearly never used either YouTube or MySpace, nor has anyone on his staff— at least not openly, not when Mitt’s in the office, that is, and could see what they’re seeing on their screens! Why in the world would we let Mitt protect us? Why would we hand our communications media over to Mitt Romney and his people to futz with for four or eight years? Why? Because that’s just what we need, more people writing internet legislation who don’t know the first thing about the internet!

The black kid did it

Monday, July 30th, 2007

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So Lohan carjacks three guys and then tells the cops that, no no no, it wasn’t she who was driving over people’s feet and racing down PCH at 100 mph, it was one of the guys she carjacked— ie, “the black kid.” (Anyway, that’s the way it would be in the movie, right officer?) And yet the cops arrested her and charged her with drunken driving and possession. What’s happening to this country? We Americans have always been able to rely on The Black Kid Did It defense in the past. I mean, just cuz you carjacked The Black Kid, doesn’t mean he’s innocent, right? Linds’s problem was her associating with The Black Kid in the first place!

reverb: music from los angeles & beyond

Monday, July 30th, 2007

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It’s very warm in Los Angeles these days. Every year I pray for a mild summer, but Summer ‘07 just hasn’t been very obliging. Something about this weather just isn’t conducive to my usual, melancholy musical favorites. In the interest of embracing the summertime vibe, here’s some fun stuff for you:

Why is Brazil so damned sexy? Just the mention of its name brings images to my mind of drums, sweat, and booties shaking. From a soft Gilberto samba to the dancy goodness of CSS, Brazil is eternally one big sexy party. If you don’t believe me, give a listen to the funk carioca of Bonde do Role. Their new album With Lasers on Domino Records is a solid good time.

The Nextmen are a duo of hip-hop producers out of Cambridge, England. Although Cambridge also gave us Stephen Hawking, who is one funky dude, The Nextmen are funkier. They’ve got a new record out on Antidote called This Was Supposed to Be the Future with various guest musicians featured on pretty much every track. The record’s a little hit & miss since the boys like to explore all their various influences (funk, soul, r&b, hip-hop, reggae, etc). But the jams are jams.

A long time ago (in the nineties), I met a punk band called the Yah-Mo’s. I hung out with them during the day at a festival they were playing. While all the other bands playing the show that night were into their leather jackets and acting as punk rock as possible, the Yah-Mo’s were more interested in listening to James Brown and laughing at the other bands. They’re still laughing, because now they’re !!!, and all those other bands probably don’t exist anymore. Their most recent album Myth Takes was designed specifically for summer enhancement. It will increase the size of your summertime fun by at least 30 percet, or your money back.

If you ever wished that the funk & soul of yesterday was still being made today, then you need to know about Daptone Records. They’ve released some of the most genuine, gritty funk you’ve heard in a long time. Look for releases from Sharon Jones, The Sugarman 3., and most recently The Budos Band. The Budos Band II is a funk meisterwerke. Driving around with this as your soundtrack will make you sprout a moustache and feel like you’re hot on the trail of some double-crossing pimp.

I like to think that some bands could only be from Los Angeles. Dios (Malos) is such a band. They began life as Dios, but Ronnie James Dio had something to say about it, so now they go by the parenthetically augmented moniker of Dios (Malos). Like the Beach Boys before them, they hail from Hawthorne, CA. And like the Beach Boys before them, they make music evocative of warm days, suntanned girls, and the kind of heartbreak that can only come with the backdrop of palm trees and majestic sunsets. Their cover of “Wild Horses” is one of my all-time summer favorites. Go find a sunset like the one above and put it on. It’ll make you glad you live in Los Angeles… or make you wish that you did.

Stay sweet and have a rad summer… K.I.T.

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If you enjoy these tunes, tune into my radio show on kxlu 88.9fm 10a-2p every monday. we’re also streaming live at www.kxlu.com.

Highguy Gonzalez

Friday, July 27th, 2007

This has been all over the web but it’s just too good not to post. Imagine showing up anywhere in the world this clueless and ready to lie—and smiling the whole time. I hope for the sake of the country that our attorney general has got like a major heroin addiction or something. SG speculates he’s been “possessed by a clowntard,” which is the only other rational explanation. He’ll no doubt be ceremoniously checking himself into clowntard rehab in about a half year, after he’s strung out this diversionary performance as long as possible. Can we organize a YouTube Q&A with the attorney general? Maybe Global Warming Snowman can get some straight answers.

Size matters

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

CNN wanted to understand YouTube. But it didn’t. Stewart explains.