Miitt Romney, the Republicans’ top family values and big love candidate, is fearful of the internet because… he doesn’t know anything about it. Over the last few weeks, he has been turning his campaign into an anti-internet-porn crusade, taking a strong stand against sexual predators on “these networking sites.” He wants to lock up the predators “for long periods” and then “monitor them for life with GPS,” so there will be “no more walking around on the streets” for them “no more in places where there is access to children.” Mitt Romney, he’s the candidate who’s out to protect our children!

How serious is he? Very. He’s now proposing that every computer sold in America come with some kind of filtering device that would block pornography. How will that work? It won’t. Why? Because it’s assinine. How assinine? Very. Does he know that? No. In speaking about it, our new internet guru confused MySpace and YouTube.

“YouTube is a website that allows kids to network with one another and make friends and contact each other. YouTube looked to see if they had any convicted sex offenders on their website. They had 29,000.”

The sex offender statistic was released by MySpace this week. Romney has clearly never used either YouTube or MySpace, nor has anyone on his staff— at least not openly, not when Mitt’s in the office, that is, and could see what they’re seeing on their screens! Why in the world would we let Mitt protect us? Why would we hand our communications media over to Mitt Romney and his people to futz with for four or eight years? Why? Because that’s just what we need, more people writing internet legislation who don’t know the first thing about the internet!