So Lohan carjacks three guys and then tells the cops that, no no no, it wasn’t she who was driving over people’s feet and racing down PCH at 100 mph, it was one of the guys she carjacked— ie, “the black kid.” (Anyway, that’s the way it would be in the movie, right officer?) And yet the cops arrested her and charged her with drunken driving and possession. What’s happening to this country? We Americans have always been able to rely on The Black Kid Did It defense in the past. I mean, just cuz you carjacked The Black Kid, doesn’t mean he’s innocent, right? Linds’s problem was her associating with The Black Kid in the first place!

Tags: black kid, dante nigro, jakon sutter, lindsay lohan, ronnie blake