When Ricky was 16, he went to a party and met a girl named Amanda. She told him she was also 16, he says. They hit it off and had sex.

Turns out, Amanda was 13. According to Iowa state law, where they were living, a 13-year-old cannot consent to sex. Ricky was arrested, held in jail over night and charged as an adult. He pled guilty to lascivious acts with a child, a class D felony, and was sentenced to two years probation, according to Jeannine Gilmore, the assistant Dallas County attorney. She says Ricky must be registered as a sex offender for the next ten years.

Ricky is now a Registered Sex Offender, or RSO, as they say.

He’s 18 and living in Oklahoma. He says his entire life has changed because he is an RSO. He can’t live a normal teenage lifestyle, is harassed and tormented by strangers, is restricted on where he can live and travel and was never able to finish high school.

“It’s rough. Can’t do nothing. Can’t be a kid really,” he says. “Eighteen years old and can’t go with my friends to watch a movie.”

Ricky can’t cross state lines without permission from his probation officer. The only movie theatre nearby is across the border in Arkansas. Same for the nearest mall.

He can only go to a friend’s house if it is at least 300 feet from a school or day care center. Yes, Ricky knows the exact location of every school in his community.

Policies regulating sex offenders across the country have gotten more punitive over the past decade, according to a July 22nd cover story in The New York Times Magazine by Maggie Jones. She wrote: “Courts have handed down longer sentences to juveniles for sex offenses, while some states have created tougher probation requirements and, most significant, lumped adolescents with adults in sex-offender legislation.”

Ricky’s name, photograph and address can be found on Oklahoma’s online registry; they are accessible to anyone with an Internet connection. He’s on the same registry as sick old men who rape little girls. “There’s no difference between my son and a rapist on that registry,” his mother, Mary, says.

Because of the registry, Ricky and his family have been harassed by neighbors and complete strangers. Ricky says one neighbor videotaped him every time he went outside.

“You’re scared to go out places,” Ricky says. “You’re on the Internet so everybody sees your picture.”

Sarah Tofte with Human Rights Watch says being listed on a sex offender registry can have a lasting effect on teenagers. “It will be very difficult for them to ever move beyond the stigma of that conviction,” she says.

A neighbor used to harass Ricky’s family at their house, Mary says. One day the neighbor came up to the house and said he was not going to leave them alone until they “took our ‘child rapist’ out of there.” The family had no choice; they moved.

Ricky is not allowed to live within 2,000 feet of a school or park, so the family has struggled to find a home in an appropriate location.

“It’s real difficult to find housing here,” Mary said. “You have to go into the woods to find housing!”

Human rights advocates have argued that the residency laws are ineffective because they are so restrictive they push people underground, making them harder to keep tabs on.

At the time Ricky was sentenced, he was attending high school and playing football and basketball. His school kicked him out as soon as they found out he was a registered sex offender, he says. He then struggled to get a GED.

Ricky says he wants to go to college but is worried he will be harassed by the other students if they find out he is an RSO.

“If people find out when I’m in college, I will have to watch my back all the time,” he says. “Once people find out, they just panic. They don’t know the real story.”

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Hanna Ingber Win is a staff writer and editor. Pushing Off is a column of her dispatches from twentysomething land. Contact her at: hingber@gmail.com