Republican candidates went tête-à-tête in the umpteenth debate of the campaign season in Iowa yesterday.

The whole thing played out more like a special RNC episode of SNL, where the candidates played parodies of themselves. (Who says there isn’t such thing as good TV during a writer’s strike?). Throughout, the presidential hopefuls managed to dodge, duck and talk their way out of giving anything resembling straight answers. (A poll conducted by the Des Moines Register found that viewers felt discussion of the issues “lacked detail.”)

A highlight, for me, was when a small spat broke out about global warming, briefly interrupting the otherwise canned banter and scripted responses. Fred Thompson channeled his alter/ultra persona, NYC D.A. Arthur Branch, playing hardliner when debate moderator Carolyn Washburn asked for a show of hands from those candidates who believe climate change is a serious issue and a problem caused by humans.

A timid raising of hands was suddenly interrupted by Thompson cutting in. “I’m not doing hand shows today!” he said and Romney quickly lowered his own sad hand and started applauding Thompson’s response.

After a few seconds of quasi-confusion, the candidates managed to all agree that climate change is important, that combating it can help our economy, and that people maybe, sorta, kinda contribute a little bit, perhaps.

The most rational and on-point answer came via the Straight Talk Express. Sen. John McCain, who always seems a little embarrassed to be involved in any of this these days, dropped this bomb: “Suppose that climate change is not real and all we do is adopt green technologies, which our economy and technology is perfectly capable of, then all we’ve done is given our kids a cleaner world. But suppose they’re wrong and climate change is real and we’ve done nothing. What kind of planet are we going to pass on to the next generation of Americans?”

Favorite answer, though, came from the fired-up rhetorician and former ambassador Alan Keyes, who with a whopping 49 supporters in Iowa, had nothing to lose: “I’m in favor of reducing global warming because I think the most important emission we need to control is the hot air emission of politicians who pretend one thing and don’t deliver!”

Now that’s what I’m talking about! Retire please the double-speak and non-committal responses and replace them with revved-up trash talking and elbow throwing and we’ll all start watching again, at least until the next season of ANTM premieres.