I once read that Arnold Schwarzenegger said he picked the Republican party over the Democratic party because they are winners. This was one of those nights when you were reminded why they often win. After a non-start to the Republican National Convention on Monday, and last night’s sometimes effective, but mostly lukewarm speeches from the odd couple, Joe Lieberman and Fred Thompson, tonight the speakers came out with the gloves off.

Think about how many times the Dems told Americans in Denver that John McCain was a good soldier, a good man, they liked him very much, but he’s wrong. And think about how many times they said his name. Hillary even had a slogan with it, “No way, no how, no McCain.”

But the Republican speakers tonight, which included former presidential candidates Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, as well as VP candidate Gov. Sarah Palin, didn’t even say the words, “Barack Obama,” once. He was relegated to “my opponent,” and the audience was told that he’s done “nothing,” “zero,” repeatedly.

Mike Huckabee was the only one to actually give the Illinois senator any credit at all. He praised his candidacy for being historic. “I have great respect for Senator Obama’s achievement not because of his color but the indifference to it. As Americans we celebrate this milestone. It elevates us,” he said, but warned: “The Presidency is not a symbolic job.”

Many of the attack themes that Sen. Hillary Clinton raised during the Democratic primary reared their heads. We haven’t heard about Obama’s non-voting record in a while, but Giuliani made sure that was a sticking point.  He said:

130 times couldn’t make a decision! He couldn’t vote yes or no! It was too tough! He voted Present.

For a President, it’s not good enough to be present. You have to make a decision.

Giuliani’s speech—the whole thing—was as masterful as Bill Clinton’s speech in Denver.

He was at ease, as comfortable as a stand-up comic in the zone, as he delivered little Republican nuggets to his blood-thirsty audience. “He’s the least experienced candidate for President in at least 100 years. It’s not a personal attack—it’s a statement of fact,” he said of Obama, seemingly softening the blow, but then…not: “Barack Obama has never lead anything! Nothing! Nada!”

Line after line, Giuliani went for the kill, he got laughs and applause. But more importantly, his speech specifically went for Obama’s jugular.

All other speakers were lockstep with the marching orders as well. They made fun of Obama’s experience as a community organizer, a job the Democrats have cast as noble and worthwhile, something he chose instead of Wall Street riches, proof that he really cares about people. The RNC crowd literally snickered in the midst of Giuliani’s semi-serious hypothetical match-up between two men for a job that you have to hire. And when he said, “community organizer,” the crowd giggled so much that he had to pause.

Basically, they were saying, “Obama is a pussy.” In some ways, they are right. After witnessing this litany of political one-upmanship, it’s fair to say the Dems were too nice. Hillary Clinton, who gave one of the most impassioned speeches, served to unify her own party, not slam the other side. The Dems, and Obama, were often too nuanced.

“I like John McCain, but” “He’s a good soldier, but.” “I respect this person, but,” And, “I think we should do this, but…”

They are too thoughtful, and assume too much intelligence on behalf of their viewers. The Republicans know better. They know there is a reason why Hollywood action-adventure movies rake it in at the box office. Audiences respond to clear-cut characterization.

Good vs. evil. Us vs. them. Liberal vs. Conservative. Republican vs. Democrat. Right vs. Wrong. Righteous vs. Sinner.

Mitt Romney did his best to distort those lines. He cast teachers in a union vs. poor innocent children, as if the teachers (notoriously underpaid) were in it to get rich, not, you know, teach children. He pitted liberals vs. conservatives, and Guantanamo terrorists vs. Democrats. “We believe there is good and evil,” he said. “John McCain hit the nail on the head. Radical Islam is evil and he will defeat it.”

And then, Romney’s rhetorical hammer struck again. Republicans, he said, “prefer straight talk to politically correct talk.” Michael Steele, of GOPAC, served to be the RNC’s Brian Schweitzer, the Democratic governor of Montana whose speech in Denver easily had the most entertainment value. Steele’s phrase about “energy independence, “Drill, baby drill (and drill now)” is sure to become a national calling card for Republicans.

The night served to diminish, devalue, and deride the Dems as much as possible. Huckabee dissed Joe Biden by saying that Sarah Palin received more votes as mayor than Biden did for President. There’s an overreaching, overeager need to defend her meager experience.  Me thinks they doth protest too much.

Perhaps most egregious, the Republicans stated their case using a series of laugh-out-loud lies and distortions. I loved Giuliani’s “How dare they?” bit about the media’s attack on women— you know how dare they question Palin’s ability to be both strong mother and effective politician? Maybe he should ask the members in the crowd who were wearing buttons that referenced the “Hottest VP from the Coolest State,” or “I’m voting for McCain and the Hot Chick.”

Or her claims of the “heavy tax burden” that Obama’s presidency will bring, on small and large business alike (even her sister’s new filling station!). Or Thompson’s, Romney’s, and Giuliani’s insistence of new taxes across all income brackets, when Obama clearly stated in his acceptance speech that 95% of the entire U.S. population would receive tax cuts. It’s the other 5%—the ones in control of about 95% of the wealth—that would lose a mere percentage of their ludicrous disposable income under Obama. The Republican-perpetuated myth that taxing the very wealthy would stifle investments that would be pumped back into the economy just doesn’t hold water in this age of absurd conspicuous consumption among hedge fund nouveau-riche.

The Republicans are living in an alternative reality, where they are the more fiscally responsible, and don’t have to explain why their sitting president ran up the largest federal deficit in history—this, after squandering the largest surplus in history. A surplus that began with George H.W.’s tax hike (and broken promise) that cost him a second term, and was nurtured by a so-called tax-and-spend Democrat in Bill Clinton. It was Clinton who cut more welfare programs than any Dem president in recent memory, and instituted the Welfare to Work program.

The Republicans —and the Democrats—all seem to be living in a timewarp. For the Republicans, it’s still 1980; the Dems are cast as tax-and-spend-welfare liberals who want to turn this into a communist state—one speaker even used a Big Brother analogy. Huckabee, drove the point home in his laid-back humorous way. He called the Dem candidate’s overseas visit, “Barack Obama’s Excellent Adventure to Europe,” and worried that he might bring back those terrible European ideals. (Free health care! Affordable education! Shudder.)

And if you listened to the Republicans, we’re still living in the shadow of Jimmy Carter’s years. Giuliani, who left the New York City budget a total mess, had the gall to talk about how lower taxes would create jobs. Palin, in her debut to a national audience, revealed her “Barracuda” claws. Through her Marge Gunderson On Speed accent, she smirked and rallied against Obama and the Dems, over and over. “Obama has written two memoirs but has not passed a single major law or major reform,” she wrongly claimed. She dissed his “styrofoam Greek columns,” and claimed that he would “make government bigger,” when in fact, the reason Obama attracts independents, is because he promises to make government smaller (See above).

Sometimes the Republican audiences help hang themselves. When Palin hinted that businesses would be taxed, the camera cut to a woman who had a small fistful of diamonds hanging from her ears, booing. (Rich lady, here is my very small violin. It plays a tune for you.)

At least Mitt Romney admitted what year he was living in, saying “That Ronald Reagan 30 years ago was the right choice.” I hope that after tonight, the Democrats stop saying nice things about Palin (who insists on dragging her “special needs child” to a loud auditorium night after night), about how the media should leave her family alone, and grow a backbone and some balls. You might not be able to hit a girl, but clearly you can’t play like one.