Wait, Clay Gaiken is . . . gay? People magazine has the “exclusive” on something Kathy Griffin’s been screaming from rooftops for years. That is, Aiken is not-so-into his Claymates. The American Idol runner-up has struggled for quite sometime to keep his closet door bolted shut, but there’s no keeping a baby out of anything. The arrival of his son prompted Aiken to bite the bullet (so to speak) and come clean. Now, if only we can get a certain American Idol host to do some similar ‘fessing up . . .

And, umm, did LiLo just say what we think we thought we’ve been thinking since . . . ? Yep, Lohan’s gay too. She officially (and finally!) confirmed that she’s been dating Samantha Ronson for “a very long time” during a phone interview with Loveline’s Stryker. The convo was supposed to be all about the DJ AM crash, but the status of Lohan’s sexuality was just too pressing to pass up.

Speaking of the Travis Barker-DJ AM plane crash last Friday, both men were critically injured with second- and third-degree burns, but are now doing well. Both are being treated at a Georgia burn center and are expected to make full recoveries. When asked about the emotional state of the men, Dr. Fred Mullins, the medical director of the center, declined to comment, but added that “45 percent of all patients have some emotional trouble.”

Child porn pervs at Wal-Mart? Jamie Lynn Spears’s baby daddy took some photos for processing at a local Wal-Mart and someone behind the counter decided to cash in on duplicate copies. Police are still on the hunt for the perpetrator, but because one of the photos shows underage Jamie Lynn breastfeeding her three-month-old, the crime could count as a federal (porn!) offense.

Quote of the Week: “For those of you who don’t think length matters, I disagree—especially when it comes to wieners. There’s just never enough bites in a hot dog,” said Martha Stewart (gasp!), while holding up a 15-foot long weiner made by Empire National in Brooklyn, New York. Did someone spike the morning Earl Grey?

Trick-or-Treat! Brit-Brit has a little something-something for us to tune into. She released a song for radio airplay on this morning’s Z100 Elvis Duran show.  Listen up and you, too, might be persuaded to throw down some change so we can get this bitter girl a stiff drink.