First, as you probably know, Paul Newman died. This made us verklempt. Secondly, we’re still talking about the bailout, and banks getting bought out. And everyone is still yammering on about the debate. And many people (OK, hardcore liberals) are genuflecting at the altar of Frank Rich for his analysis of McCain’s campaign. Real Clear puts Barack Obama at an average of 4.6 percentage points ahead of McCain. The real shocker in those numbers? Fox News has Obama at plus six percentage points. Some people are even talking landslide.

Science magazine has a report that concludes that a liberal and conservative response is purely physiological.  I know that watching Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin makes me hot-and-bothered.

It’s official: Everything made in China is tainted.

In other news, texting supercedes talking. Since 2007, text messaging has grown by 64 percent while calls have dropped, says the New York Times. Those who are used to fighting off “crackberry thumb,” could have told you this, too. Forty two percent claim they can text blindfolded.

Good thing, then, that Kahleeforneeya is passing a no-texting law, thanks to Arnie. While the no-driving-while-holding-a-handset law finally went into effect this summer, incredibly, texting while driving was still perfectly, insanely, legal. The Governator has rightfully signed a law which would implement a $20 fine for the first offense, and $50 thereafter. It would go in to affect January 1.  (Methinks the fines should actually be much higher.)

So, I don’t know about you but I’ve never referred to my best friend as someone who “I’ve been together with a long time,” which seems like confirmation of a relationship. However Lindsay Lohan’s flack Leslie Sloane-Zelnick is issuing a laughably retarded statement claiming Lohan and Samantha Ronson are just friends. (I also don’t hold hands with my best friend in public. Seriously Leslie, give it a break.)

She’s only two, but Heath Ledger’s daughter is already suing her insurance company. The company is already devaluing her estate by $10 million because of a loophole. Matilda’s not taking it lying down. She poops on you, ReliaStar Life Insurance Company!