Break-ups are tough. Wayne Forrester, a 34 year-old London man, thought he was doing OK. He had handled the initial separation, gone through the painful process of dividing their shared worldly possessions, and moved out. But when his wife changed her relationship status on Facebook four days later to “single”… well, that was the last straw. Forrester, on a drug and alcohol binge, attacked his wife in her bed and killed her. The Guardian confirmed today that he will spend the rest of his life in prison for his Facebook-fueled crime of passion.

Does this mean that we should start taking our Facebook relationship status more seriously? Or should the function be removed altogether?

After all, it causes nothing but trouble. If you happen to be in that hazy part of the courting process where neither of you know whether or not the other person thinks you’re relationship is exclusive, casual, or—god forbid—still platonic, then plopping all your hopes and dreams into a scroll-down bar is a frightening process. We all know plenty of people who have gotten it wrong and ruined whatever chances they had of their relationship achieving a higher status. Or, at the very least, they’ve been humiliated by their friends writing wall posts like, “Oh no! What happened?” or “I’m sorry about you and your bf. Remember, there are plenty more fish in the sea! ”

There is nothing more humiliating than the pity of a thousand strangers.

Of course, women are the main users of the scroll-down relationship status bar. Men just “accept” or “deny” requests, and get to live a much simpler life. The female mind is wired to find an established connection. And as soon as she gets confirmation, she’ll be wondering how long she has to wait until she can change her Facebook status. That goes for most women. Let’s not even get started on the “post-modernists” who get “Facebook engaged” to their best friends in an attempt to defy the real purpose of the function. It’s a louder and even clearer way of saying, “yes. I’m still single.”

Of course, we could try boycotting the system by defining our relationship as “it’s complicated”—which is probably true anyway—but then what fun would it be when you actually do get engaged and Facebook starts decorating your profile with ads for wedding photography?

The moral of the story is this: If Facebook is telling you something about your relationship that you don’t already know—for example, that you are, in fact, “single” again after a break-up, then you’ve got a problem and should consider stepping away from the Internet to solve it. Or just leave the damn box blank from now on.

Tags: facebook relationship, man kills wife, wayne forrester