My First Presidential Election and a New Face for America

Friday, November 14th, 2008

I was pan-frying ground turkey when it happened. I added some basil and a pinch of pepper, and turned to glance at the TV. Plastered in red and blue lettering across the bottom half of the screen: “CNN Prediction: Obama Wins Presidential Election.” I turned the gas off—turkey be damned—and stood with my hand over my mouth and goosebumps creeping up my spine. Wow, I thought. So, this is democracy. I had only cast my ballot an hour before, but by 8:20 p.m. my ticket was cashed in.

I’ve never voted before. In fact, I’ve spent my life struggling with the dual identity of being a double major in British and American. I was born here, but grew up there, and returned to the U.S. just in time for my first presidential election. Because of my American identity, I was never allowed to vote in the U.K. and I was never old enough to send an absentee ballot across seas. But then suddenly, there I was—strolling into the polls after a hard day at work, and making my well-rehearsed decisions final. I wore my “I Voted” sticker with pride when I walked to the Starbucks around the corner and claimed my free coffee. I still carry the ballot stub in my wallet.

Back at home, I watched intently as John McCain took the stage. The crowd started to “boo” as he graciously offered congratulations to Barack Obama. McCain put up his hands in protest. “Please,” he ordered. He expressed his admiration for the inspiration Obama had become to millions of Americans. He recognized that both he and Obama loved their country. He emphasized the morals that the two candidates share, not those which separate them from one another. In a single speech, he humanized the campaign. “I offer my sincere sympathy that [Obama's] grandmother did not live to see this day,” said McCain. “Although our faith assures us that she is at rest in the presence of her creator and so very proud of the good man she helped raise.”

At this point, I admit—I was in tears. Not for this white-haired man who stood at the podium the image of dignity and patriotism, nor for the passionate young candidate he was ceding to, but for the country I had loved and missed for more than 20 years. This was the America I was raised to believe in: a land of unification, of determination to propel the wings of greater good, of people standing hand in hand—regardless of life experience, beliefs, age or color—under the flag of the country they all so believe in. America is the land where polar opposites meet: where one can stand in the boiling heat of the Mojave desert and stare up at snowy mountain tops, where homeless people sleep above the stars on Hollywood Boulevard, where peanut butter meets jelly and donuts are a breakfast item.

When Obama walked on stage with his wife and children, there was a strange feeling of nostalgia—as if the anticipation that this moment would be so historically significant had glossed it with an air of repetition. How many times will we see view this moment in the days, months and decades to come? How many times and ways will it be analyzed, criticized or praised? How many people will share this image and store it in their mind for the length of a lifetime? (Q: “Where were you when Obama was elected?” A: “Cooking Spaghetti”)

To me, a certified American just learning about Hamburger Helper, American Football, and SNL, Obama spoke a very specific message during his election night speech. This is a man who is very aware of how the world views America from the outside in, and his words were directed at the cynics across seas. To many, America has become the butt of a bad sitcom joke in the last eight years. I have witnessed the anti-American sentiment grow. European and worldwide perspectives changed and the U.S. became nothing more than a land of ignorance, bigotry and gluttony. What the world needed was a sign that America is on course to regain its dignity and rehabilitate the stereotypical behaviors that have turned so many heads in disgust.

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy… tonight is your answer.”

The following day my sister told me that even in her corner of the quaint English countryside on the outskirts of London, the British were rejoicing. In their usual way, the British media was reacting with dramatic skepticism—broadcasting images of Obama hiding behind a bullet-proof screen while the results were announced, and speaking of the unspeakable fear that Obama will indeed be the next JFK. But excitement was still pulsating through the rainy isle. “It’s like America is entering a new time,” my sister commented. “And the whole world is happy about it.”

Daily News Roundup: Kanye in Trubs Again

Friday, November 14th, 2008

In Order: A Late Registration to Anger Management? Kanye’s in the limelight again, but not for the right reasons. Dealing with the first anniversary of his mother’s death as well as a deeply ingrained propensity to get up in paparazzo faces, Kanye attacked another cameraman: this time in Newcastle. The self-proclaimed “voice of this generation” had a scuffle with a photographer lurking in wait for the rapper to leave club Tup Tup Palace. The point and shooter said Kanye cut his face and bruised him while shouting “Get the fucking camera off me!” The Northumberland police took the 31-year-old performer into custody but have released him without charges.

Can’t Keep up with the Jones if it’s Going Down OPEC’s cutting key production. Exxon Mobile’s down. Chevron’s low. Freddie Mac keeps getting worse. Just as investors were hoping to witness an economic seachange, today found Wall Street back in a quagmire with the Down Jones Industrial Average plummeting 230 points.

The State of Things for State Schools These schools used to be cheap,  comparatively speaking. Well, they’re still not at private 40K levels, but students at UCs and Cal State schools are likely to face a 10 percent tuition hike. Given the state’s pitiful budget, the young academics may see UC prices, for example, reach nearly $9,000 per year levels, which would, when added to living expenses cost nearly 15 grand. For those staying in state for good schools they’re used to seeing cost far less than other options, that’s a lot.

FDA may see it as the Land of Honey, but not of Milk The nation’s Food and Drug Administration has begun barring Chinese shipments carrying milk and milk powder-using products (e.g. cookies and candy). China has been known to add melamine, a chemical used for plastic and fertilizer, to its milk because of its ability to enhance the amount of protein in that substance. Seeing as how it’s an industrial chemical, and the past few months have brought some highly disturbing Chinese food and health-related issues to light (such as those involving tainted baby formula), “federal food safety officials” have stated they wish to take no chances and have halted the imports until their contents may be tested.

The Week in Gossip: An “American Idol” Meltdown

Friday, November 14th, 2008

Paula’s biggest stalker commits suicide. A young woman, age 30, was found dead in a vehicle parked in front of Abdul’s house on Tuesday night. The woman, who unsuccessfully auditioned for season five of “American Idol,” called herself Paula Goodspeed and had been making life-sized drawings of Abdul since she was a kid. Her death appears to be a drug-induced suicide. Simon Scowl was his usual surly self (and then some) during Goodspeed’s audition. (Straight up, now tell me: What mature adult makes fun of the metal in someone’s mouth?) We can only wonder if “American Idol” will continue to air its pre-season contestant-bashing episodes anymore.

Now that we got a black president in the White House, what we need is . . . a black Wonder Woman? Beyoncé, err, Sasha Fierce, wants to star in a new “Wonder Woman” remake. And I want to change my name to Punky Brewster and go have a tea party with the purple Teletubby, but you don’t see me going public with that. Well. Until now.

It’s official: The world as we know it may come to an end in 2011.

Family-friendly entertainment? Not when Tracy Morgan’s in the house. If you missed his appearance on “The Today Show” this week, you missed the most inappropriate utterance ever aired on morning television. (And Kathie Lee Gifford, of all people, thinks “there’s a lot of truth” to his remarks. How the heck would she know? That woman has never stepped her stilettos in any ghetto. Please.)

Is that? No. It can’t be. That’s just—wait, is it? Really? Eww. Are they sure? The National Enquirer says it has the dirt on sweet ol’ Cindy McCain locking lips with some other Johnny who resembles “a washed-up ’80s rock musician.” Fact or fiction? Who knows, but the real question is: What’s this musician’s stance on the energy crisis?

Since when is Newsweek in the business of talking dirty? The mag wants to break the news on a nine-months-from-now baby boom. Reporter Jessica Bennett is taking a poll: Who went home on Nov. 4 and had a little celebratory sexytime fun? And who went home and made a beeline for the shower to wash the Republican stench out of her hair? (Only me? Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

Anyone in the market for a conceited genius? He’s sexy, beyond talented, and itchin’ for some babies, ladies! Kanye West, who split from his fiancée last April, told People magazine that he’s single and ready to mingle— it’s just a matter of finding a woman who can tolerate that colossal ego he carries around and see through all the fame (not to mention those damn blinds) he’s got goin’ on.


Celebrating Mama Afrika

Friday, November 14th, 2008

South African singer and Grammy Award-winner Miriam Makeba passed away this week at the age of 76.

Makeba was born in Johannesburg in 1932. After achieving success in her own country, she was launched on the international scene in the anti-apartheid documentary Come Back, Africa, which debuted at the Venice Film Festival in 1959.

From there, she teamed with Harry Belafonte, and in 1966, the two won Grammy Awards for An Evening With Belafonte/Makeba.

Makeba’s story, including being barred from her country by the apartheid government, winning the Dag Hammarskjöld Peace Prize, and performing in countries around the world, earned her the name “Mama Afrika.”

Here is Mama Afrika performing “Mayibuye” in Stolkholm in 1966.

Rest in peace, Mama Afrika.

Media Watchdog: Four Simple Steps to Hoaxing the Press

Friday, November 14th, 2008

MSNBC anchor David Shuster was the victim of a hoax.

On Monday, he said the source for a particularly salacious piece of gossip about Sarah Palin (that she thought Africa was a country) was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy advisor. After all, Eisenstadt said so on his blog.

By Wednesday, the New York Times had the whole story, and MSNBC was running a correction.

Eitan Gorlin and Dan Mirvish created the character of Eisenstadt, and created his blog, designed a Web site for the fake think tank he works for and filmed YouTube videos of Eisenstadt in action (played by Gorlin).

MSNBC wasn’t the first news organization to be fooled by Eisenstadt. Mother Jones blogger Jonathan Stein was tricked by Eisenstadt in July, but in his retraction post, he fully documented the commentator was fake. Gawker called bull on the “adviser” on Nov. 4, a full week before the MSNBC story ran. And if an MSNBC researcher just Googled Eisenstadt’s name, he would have found some sites that had outed Eisenstadt as a hoax as early as June 27.

So David Shuster got fooled. And in retrospect, Martin Eisenstadt isn’t too convincing of an advisor (just watch those YouTube videos!). But it worked just the same. If you want to create a fake policy adviser, how do you do it? What’s the best way to hoax the media?

Step 1: Come up with a believable name. Per Eitan Gorlin, he and Mirvish settled on Martin Eisenstadt because, he told the Times, “all the neocons in the Bush administration had Jewish last names and Christian first names.”

Step 2: Say you work for a think tank named after a president who governed in the 1920s. Just check out the mission statement pages of the real Hoover Institution and the fake Harding Institute for Freedom and Democracy.

Step 3: Say something the media outlets want to hear. Formerly anonymous source coming forward to admit he’s a backstabbing staff member? Of course we’ll report it! (Documents proving George W. Bush was a lousy Air National Guard member? Of course we’ll use them!)

Step 4: Remind yourself of a couple Internet truisms: Anything written online is true, therefore, your fake adviser’s blog will be believed to be true. And don’t forget the second truism: Anything sent via e-mail is true, too.  MSNBC spokesperson Jeremy Gaines told the Times that someone in the newsroom learned about the Palin source from a colleague via e-mail and assumed it had been verified.

So where will the next hoaxter come from? Who knows? But one piece of advice: Don’t trust any senior fellows from the James Buchanan Equality Institute.