Daily News Roundup: All Blago All the Time


Blago, Blago, Blago.
It’s all the papers can think about. The corruptest politician since forever, the Illinois Governor’s Senate Seat For Sale TV Movie of the century is far more entertaining than New York’s Luv Guv, Eliot Spitzer’s fantastic downfall. Today in Blago news, they learn how to say his name (helped along by a pronunciation guide in the articles),  more about how future Prezzy Barack Obama has zero to do with him (even back back when they were just ladder climbing pols), more about how they are trying to force the crook out of office, how Obama’s mouthpiece Rahm Emanuel gave him an acceptable list of candidates, and how there was a fundraiser held by potential candidate Jesse Jackson Jr. allies on behalf of Blago. At least his Chief of Staff and co-defendant, John Harris got the memo that he’s persona nongrata and finally resigned.

Kim Jong Il had a stroke
. A French doctor Francois-Xavier Roux of Sainte-Anne hospital in Paris, told Le Figaro that the North Korean dictator did in deed have a stroke but never underwent surgery. There have been rumors about his heath for months but the State-owned press is prone to releasing undated pictures of the Dear Leader and insisting everything’s hunky dory.

La Muerte Las Vegas? The gambling capital of the country is also the new suicide capital of the country. Hilariously, the suicide researchers (how’s that for a job?) insist that the gambling losses have nothing to do with it. Says Mike Murphy: “”The vast majority of those that came to Las Vegas did not come here and lose their money and then commit suicide,” Murphy said. “They came here with the idea of making their last kind of ‘hooray,’ and then they took their lives.”

Oceans 14, the Al-Qaeda Edition:
A female Al-Qaeda “legend,” Malika El-Aroud, a widow of a suicide bomber was arrested in Belgium, along with 13 others, all who had high-level contacts in the terror organization. The group is suspected of planning a coordinated terror attack during an EU Summit in Brussels Thursday and Friday.

The engine’s stalled on the auto bailout.
However, the Bush administration might step up and throw the industry a bone from the $700 billion market rescue plan, especially after last night’s $14 billion emergency plan went up in smoke in the Senate.

Just call me Senator Al. The former comedian-turned-aspiring politician Al Franken is knee-deep in the recount for Minnesota’s Senate seat again Norm Coleman, gaining some momentum with the inclusion of 1500 absentee ballots that they contend were unlawfully dismissed. Meanwhile Coleman is looking at his own scandal: that a friend “and benefactor tried to steer money” to Coleman.

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