The Week in Gossip: What Happened to Joaquin?

Friday, February 13th, 2009

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The dark, handsome man with the stunning eyes has lost that loving feeling. Joaquin Pheonix hit up Letterman on Wednesday to promote his new film “Two Lovers” …or to promote his recent slip into a large, milky bowl of cuckoo! puffs—you be the judge.  Phoenix was distant for most of the interview, slurred one-word answers here and there, and had the common courtesy to rid himself of his chewing gum by sticking it under Letterman’s desk. What a gent! (Was the whole act real or a hoax? Hmm.)

But if you thought Joaquin was trippin’, check out his wedgie-sporting co-star and her mommy-fied dominatrix get-up.  Red-carpet ready? This is what you call red-carpet rrrreow!

Chris Brown’s career is officially over. After news broke that Brown was arrested in connection with bruising up his girlfriend Rihanna, the folks over at Wrigley suspended their ad campaigns featuring the male singer as a Doublemint spokesperson. A performance at an NBA All-Stars event was canceled as well. Radio stations have stopped playing his tunes. Friends are saying that Rihanna’s been sporting bruises since December. Poor Rihanna canceled a big birthday bash she was planning for herself in NYC later this month. And as for Brown, who dropped $50,000 to bail himself out of jail—he changed his Facebook relationship status. Priorities, priorities.

How much would you pay for a naked (full frontal!) pic of Madonna? Monopoly money doesn’t count. Or what about a nude pic of Heidi Klum doing her best impression of a Robert Palmer backup singer on the crapper? Simply irresponsible.

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Speaking of magazine covers, has everyone seen the First Lady on the cover of Vogue? She sizzles fo’ shizzles!

And what celeb is putting her breastmilk where a Third World baby’s mouth is? Angelina? Good guess, but no. The OctoMom? If Angelina ain’t doing it, then she ain’t either. So guess again. (Hint: Who in Hollywood has the breastiest non-plastic breasts in town? Not. That. Difficult.)

Another drug-using athlete, another headline heyday for The New York Post.

News Alert: In case you were wondering, Ryan Seacrest is not gay (I repeat: NOT GAY) everyone. Now, let’s all get back to not being gay, shall we?

In the News: Plane Crash in New York Felt Nationwide

Friday, February 13th, 2009

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Is it just me? Or does it seem like there have been way too many plane crashes lately? First, we had the plane go down into the Hudson River about a month ago. And now, we have a plane (that departed from Newark) crash into a Buffalo, New York neighborhood. Strangely, both of these flights originated in the New York metropolitan area. Should we be concerned about traveling in and out of the Big Apple?  The official report is that a Continental Airlines commuter plane (flight 3407 leaving Newark, NJ bound for Buffalo, NY) carrying 49 passengers crashed into a suburban Buffalo house late Thursday. The crash killed everyone on board and one person inside the home. However, the mother and daughter who lived in the house made it out safely and were treated at a local hospital for minor injuries. The National Transportation Safety Board has collected the data recorders and cockpit voice equipment to search for clues as to the reason for the crash.

The details about the crash victims are just starting to come in. There was a senior adviser for the Human Rights Watch— Africa Division, Alison Des Forges; a widow of a 9/11 victim, Beverly Eckhert; and a cantor, Susan Wehle, were killed in this crash. These passengers along with the others on this flight will not be forgotten.

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“It’s hard to make sense of it today, but God hasn’t left us,” New York Gov. David Paterson said at a news conference, expressing hope that people could find comfort in the few stories of survival — or luck — in the crash.

In the News: Make Way for Mommie Dearest

Friday, February 13th, 2009

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There’s no avoiding this woman. She’s everywhere. There are images of her on newsstands, interviews with her on TV, gossip about her on blogs, and if that’s not enough, there are now fourteen (let me repeat: FOURTEEN!) children bringing more of the woman’s DNA into the world.

When Nadya Suleman first hit the headlines, she was celebrated. She gave birth to octuplets, after all—what a feat! What a trooper! Hooray! Ah, the marvel of modern medicine . . .

And then, we learned a bit more about The Little Mommie That Could. Actually, we learned A LOT more:

And now—some are calling her the most hated woman in the world. How about the most narcissistic? (On second thought, maybe not.) But if Suleman had any sympathizers left, I’m sure she got rid of them with…this.

Those poor children.

The Green Report: It’s All About the Aussies…

Friday, February 13th, 2009

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Today is a really sad day. Call me a sap, but I absolutely love animals. So, I was extremely saddened to find out that millions of animals have died in the recent Australian fire. (This blaze scorched about 1,2000 square miles of land and the human death toll is expected to hit 200.) Kangaroo corpses have been found along with other burnt animals. And if that wasn’t enough, the animals that have survived the fire will likely perish, if not rescued soon, because their food supply is gone. Wildlife animal rescue is working hard to save the animals. According to the Associated Press, several animals were even harmed after trying to return home.

Kangaroos that survived are suffering from burned feet, a result of their territorial behavior. After escaping the initial flames, the creatures — which prefer to stay in one area — likely circled back to their homes, singeing their feet on the smoldering ground.

Let’s hope all the Aussie animals are rescued and their homeland is restored.

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And in a related story…. An Australian volunteer firefighter, David Tree, saw a female koala that looked to be in pain. He began putting water on her paws and took her to a wildlife shelter. The koala, now named Sam, is doing well but will faces a seventh month recovery period for her injuries. She’s made friends easily and even has a boyfriend. Check out the video about her rescue.

There is some possible good news for Australia. The recent Australian fires in Victoria, which were partially caused by arson, has spurred plans for a new fire alert system.  On Thursday, Australia vowed to put a national fire warning system in place. Experts are unsure whether the coordinated alarm system could have saved lives in the country’s worst-ever wildfire. The proposed system would send automated warnings to phones in the affected areas.  Hopefully, the Australian government will implement the much-needed system.

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And although the fire alert system may help once there is an active blaze, it appears global warming could have partially contributed to the fires, and lead to an increase in future ones. (Note: One man has been arrested for arson related to these fires.) The 2007 Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned that “fires in Australia were virtually certain to increase in intensity and frequency because of steadily warming temperatures over the next several decades.” According to TIME.com, Australia’s temperature has warmed 0.9°C since 1950, and climate models predict it could increase 5°C by 2070, especially if global warming isn’t stopped. In addition to fires and increasing temperatures, climate change could cause heat weaves and droughts in Australia. Those of us in California know that dry weather along with hot temperatures is a breeding ground for wildfires. These fires are just another reason why everyone needs to work together to stop global warming.