Cheap Thrills: Black Men, Let’s Get Real

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

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A few days ago, I found myself chatting with a few co-workers about the Chris Brown / Rihanna conflict. After a bit of a pause, one woman remarked:

“I just don’t get this whole angry Black man complex. They need to get it together.”

The strange thing about it was, everyone participating in the conversation nodded in affirmation, thus bolstering her “point”. I, on the other hand, guffawed, shook my head, and retorted, “Huh? This has nothing to do with the ‘angry Black man’ – whatever that means. It’s an abusive relationship… race has nothing to do with it.”

Surprised? I’m sure a few of you are, seeing as how I get comments like this frequently:

“Maybe my problem with the statements in Ryan’s blog is that maybe she should admit that she has a bias against black men, remembers your mother and her sister both married white men.”

and

“It’s truly tragic how much you hate men who share your color.”

and

“Isn’t this the same person who wrote about terrified she was of sexually hyper-aggressive black males? How they scared her into those oh so comforting anglo-arms when she was a teenager girl? Suggesting that only black men eyeball and catcall women in their teens?”

Ok. We need to talk about this.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how I come across on this blog to Black men. Because I care. A lot. I think about how I felt 4 years ago, when I came across the Facebook group Black Men and White Women Come Together (now defunct), or how I’d feel if I read a blog authored by a Black man who finds himself dating primarily (hi, not exclusively) White women. Did this/would this hurt my feelings? Highlight my insecurities? Anger me?

Perhaps.

But then I think about what’s real – at least, to me.

I know that I identify more with my race than I do with my sex. That might sound weird, but it’s true. I identify more with Black men than I do with White women. I think of myself as “bi-racial” before “female”. Because of this, I’ve always felt deeply connected with other bi-racial and African-American folks – men included. (!)

I know that I’m someone who calls out the elephant in the room (I get this from my mom). In my opinion, doing so progresses the conversation past formality, to a place actually worth exploring. Because really, what’s the point of skirting around the issues? It’s boring and pointless.

I also know that discussing a topic like gender relations through a racial lens isn’t easy. It’s visceral and messy. I get that. But I’m not someone who gives free passes. So I knew I’d offend a few when I called out Black men for cat calling. But I also knew that I could have gone deeper… because there is much more to say about the public objectification of Black females (the booty-shaking b*tches, the nappy headed hos, the “come here girl” comments and over-exaggerated head turns… I mean really, let’s get real).  I make no claim that this objectification began in the Black community – just think about the Saartjie Baartman, or “Venus Hottentot” story – but somehow the Black community has managed to perpetuate it. Obviously, not all Black men do this, and obviously some White men and Latino men and whoever-else-men cat call and all the rest – but I’m talking about Black women and Black men here. And it’s an important issue for us to discuss, together.

So yes, I have quite a few concerns with gender relations within the African-American community. But that doesn’t mean I won’t defend Black men wholeheartedly when someone looking in from the outside makes an ignorant blanket statement like the one my co-worker made. A statement based on nothing but TMZ and the 7 o’clock news.

But within the community, we need real talk to move forward. Understand that I want nothing more than to uplift the race, but to do so I think it’s imperative that we address the good, the bad and the ugly. You be real with me, and I promise I’ll be real with you.

This originally appeared on Ryan Barrett’s blog, Cheap Thrills.

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All About Race: Racial Insult Is Not Satire

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

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High profile, racially offensive attempts at humor and satire seem to have increased since President Barack Obama became the front-running candidate last summer.

And although the way white artists, satirists and cartoonists have portrayed President and Michelle Obama snatched the most headlines, no racial group is immune from bearing the brunt of cloddish and racially offensive attempts at clever political or social observation.

The most annoying and head shaking aspect of this increasingly apparent pattern, is that once the group which is the subject of the “satire,” and its allies, point out that said satire is not effective and is insulting, the creator of the work and his or her allies dismiss all criticism! The protest voices are discounted and brushed aside right into the soundproof booth of the “they are just too sensitive” category.

The excellent blogs Angry Asian Man and Resist Racism bring us the latest example of this behavior:

An e-mail that referred to College President-elect Jim Yong Kim as a “Chinaman” and warned the campus to prepare for “Asianification” has sparked controversy on campus, less than three days after the announcement that the Harvard professor and global health leader would be inaugurated as the College’s 17th president. The e-mail, which was sent to approximately 1,000 students and alumni, was the Tuesday morning edition of the Generic Good Morning Message, a student written and edited tongue-in-cheek compilation of each day’s news. [ ]

The Tuesday morning e-mail led with a feature written by anonymous GGMM intern “Lozar Theofilactidis.”

“On July 1, yet another hard-working American’s job will be taken by an immigrant willing to work in substandard conditions at near-subsistent wage, saving half his money and sending the rest home to his village in the form of traveler’s checks,” the message states, in part. “Unless ‘Jim Yong Kim’ means ‘I love Freedom’ in Chinese, I don’t want anything to do with him. Dartmouth is America, not Panda Garden Rice Village Restaurant.” Source

And like clockwork, as protests grew louder, the apology appeared. Cue apology:

The author of the original e-mail apologized for “inappropriate” and “insensitive” comments in an e-mail to the GGMM listserv on Tuesday, saying that the comments were intended to be satirical. The GGMM staff also offered a follow-up apology, saying they regretted their lack of oversight. Source

Resist Racism breaks down the predictable third act of this drama:

In addition, this incident is a good example of how racist incidents encourage and embolden other racists. Clearly there are more than just three racists at Dartmouth. From the posts at the Dartmouth Review:

Just when you thought this hilariously over-blown situation was about to resolve itself, …[ ]

Got that? Hilariously over-blown.

[ ] only the specially-trained first responders at OPAL are qualified to deal with this calamity, which in our estimation scores somewhere between the Rape of Nanking and Japanese internment on the Richter Scale of injustice.

What the f**k? Source

Maddening. Read more over at Resist Racism.

This post originally appeared on All About Race.

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Afrobella: The Makeup Counter in the Obama Era

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

This past Saturday I attended the third annual Women of Color event at Macy’s Aventura, and bellas let me tell you — it was a beautiful thing.

I attended this event in its first year, and immediately saw its unlimited potential. It’s the one day of the year that the beauty department is filled with black, brown, Latina, Asian, and Middle Eastern women of all hues, all being wooed and catered to by experts at each cosmetics counter.

The event has only become more popular, and this year, Chanel, Dior, Benefit, Lancome, Goldenfaden, Clinique, MAC — all counters were at least five bellas deep, all seeking consultations.

I was fortunate enough to spend my time with the Macy’s PR (big shout out to Ivonne! She was very accommodating) and interview two celebrity makeup artists.

I really can’t say enough nice things about Patrece Williams. There’s always something a little magical when I meet another Patrice, whatever the spelling!

Believe me when I say, this sista is on the rise. Patrece has so much personality, so much presence and power, she needs to be on television. I want to see her hosting her own show on Bravo, she is THAT warm and wonderful and funny. If I had to compare her, personality wise, to anyone — I’d say she’s a little Mo’Nique and a little Niecey Nash, with a voice made for cartoons. You just want to be her best friend, have dinner with her, then let her give you a makeover. More on Patrece — with videos of her giving makeup tips! — in an upcoming post.

In her well-attended presentation, Patrece addressed the warm spirit and palpable excitement in the room with empowering words. “Women of color, embrace those full lips. Embrace that beautiful skin. People pay money to get what we got for free!”

Her top choice of makeup came as no surprise. “I love MAC foundations. I think they’ve taken the time and done the research to really cater to women of color. I worked for them for five years, so I can attest that they take it seriously.”

MAC’s name is already golden amongst black women, and I believe some other brands have tried to step forward to address the beauty needs of women all shades of beautiful.

Make Up For Ever has stepped up its shade game. Of course there’s Prescriptives, which offers so many shades it’ll make your head hurt, and I know quite a few dark skinned bellas who swear by NARS, and some who love Lancome. A few other major department store makeup brands offer more than 12 shades of foundation. And there are quite a few with woefully few options, that don’t venture past shades with names like “honeyed beige” or “ochre.”

I also had the pleasure of interviewing makeup artist to the stars, the Eyebrow King, Damone Roberts, in the green room upstairs as he tried to match the foundation for the model he was going to use during his presentation. Mr. Roberts had like 10 different shades of foundation and an entire coffee table of makeup out before him, as he tried to settle on what colors to use and what shades blended almost-perfectly.

We chatted about makeup and the divine Mrs. Obama — he’s dying to get his expert hands on her brows, and I think he’s the man for the job! Damone believes think a change’s gonna come in the cosmetics industry.

“They have to! We’re a powerful market and you can’t deny it. Not anymore. There’s a first lady in the White House who is a beautiful woman of color! Makeup for women of color is a neglected market. And when I say women of color, I’m not just talking about African Americans. I mean Asian Americans, Latin Americans, Native Americans — it’s all America!” he declared.

It’s ridiculous to think that Michelle Obama couldn’t find her shade of foundation at the department store in 2009, but even today, it’s kind of true. Her options are still limited. She’d have to look at a few big-name brands that truly cater to her skin tone, because not all of them do. Yet. Things have come a long way, but we’ve got a ways to go.

Seeing the excited crowds at the Women of Color event gave me hope. I hope that Macy’s makes it a traveling event, because this could be huge in a city like Atlanta, Washington DC, Dallas, New Orleans, or heyyyy – Chicago, where I’ll be living soon. It might be one day out of the year, but it’s a start. More on my interview with Damone Roberts to come, including his top tips and product recommendations for brown skinned beauties!

What do you think, bellas? Am I looking at the industry from a glass half empty perspective? What are your predictions? Do you see change coming to the department store cosmetics counters?

This originally appeared on Afrobella.com.

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Amuse Bouche: Dwayne Johnson As the Angry “Rock Obama” on Saturday Night Live

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

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Since his entry into the national political landscape, most of us have been wondering when will the ultra smooth, never ruffled President Barack Obama lose his cool? Well, Saturday Night Live and Dwayne Johnson (”The Rock”) answer this question for us in a recent skit.  A staffer prods President Obama to get angry with Republican Senators who oppose his bills. After a round of questions peppered with baby insults, Obama finally gets mad (in a “Hulk-like” fashion). So now people know… when Barack Obama becomes angry — he really turns into the “Rock Obama.” Check out the video.

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Ghostface Killa Defends Rihanna

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

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By his name, you never would think that Ghostface Killa (scary!) would be one to defend Rihanna or do anything remotely suggesting a public service towards women.

In a song that was leaked on the internet last week, titled “A Message from Ghost” the Wu-Tang artist takes a moment address domestic violence.

“This is for all my women out there that be getting beat up, you know what I mean, struggling, welfare, sometimes the jobs ain’t right, they going through mad trauma, especially with they man when they don’t really need that shit,”

Wow. Reminds me of Tupac’s “Dear Mama”

While even Rihanna’s father has accepted Rihanna getting back together with looser girl beating pop wriggleys chewing artist, Chris Brown, Ghostface ends his song with,

“That girl Rihanna, you know what it is Rihanna, you little sexy little thing you, you didn’t have to got through all that, that’s that young boy shit, And I ain’t here to interfere either but protect your neck, that’s what Wu told you baby.”

Most of the artist community has said the incident is “a disgrace” but none have straight out said that what Chris Brown has done is completely unacceptable. What message does that send?

The American Institute on Domestic Violence states that each year, 5.3 million women are abused and 1,232 are killed by their partner. According to a 2002 study at Tufts University, the number one killer of African American woman between the ages of 15-35 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner. The statistics of domestic violence against African American women compared to White, Latinas and Asians are also much higher.

As it turns out, the picture that TMZ leaked? New reports are showing that picture was taken a few days after the attack. The picture taken of Rihanna the night of the incident is MUCH worse. Chris Brown,”cannot survive his career if this picture gets out” said TMZ’s head honcho, Harvey Levin.

Ouch.

But even with Ghostface taking a stand on the situation, does it matter?

Etra Donald, Rihanna’s attorney told the Los Angeles Superior Court on Thursday as Chris Brown faced felony charges  that “Rihanna opposes a ’stay away’ order and requested that no such order be issued.”

They are back together and she most likely, wont be pressing charges.

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