Obama Love in front of Legendary Ben's Chilli Bowl

On inauguration night we decided to check out how the everyday people of D.C. party (read: we didn’t have tickets to any fancy balls).

We started out at Bohemian Caverns on U street, where our D.C. host, Shea Van Horn, was spinning that night. In the grotto-themed basement, we fell in love with The Love Language, an indie rock band out of North Carolina. Shea’s eclectic mix of indie rock, electro and good juicy ass shakers had the crowd sweaty and ecstatic upstairs. Everyone would periodically erupt into Obama chants between numbers. His set was followed by a DJ tag team crew out of DC called FatBack. These guys kept it going strong as they each took turns working tracks on vinyl and MP3 from a computer, anything goes in DC it seems.

Shea and Lisa at dinner before heading out

After a few drinks we headed over to a little bar called The Duplex Diner, to meet up with some more friends. I felt I needed to reconnect with all the rowdy married men I’d met a few nights before and see how they were feeling on this most auspicious night.

Edaurdo and Matt at the Diner, Married and Hot

By this time, the conversation around the day’s events had devolved to discussion of Michelle’s dress. Some found the strap too wide, others wanted to see bolder color, but everyone agreed that she was beautiful. Shea and his lover have been together for over 10 years and my other favorite couple Matt and Eduardo have been together for nine. Matt and Eduardo had actually gotten married in Spain, Eduardo’s home country, recently. After many drinks, dancing and enjoying the incredible energy of the evening we found ourselves back and Shea’s until five a.m. discussing what it means to be married and what it means to us.

Being gay is interesting because even with in all the various kinds of racial stratification in America, gays within those groups find themselves marginalized again by their own families, their culture, and finally, the culture at large. Gay culture has always been the home of the “others”, whatever “other” you might happen to be you are welcome here as long as you have a sense of humor. A sense of humor seems to be what’s gotten “us” to this point. Gays of all kinds are still fighting for rights all around the planet—just Google Proposition 8.

So we, who are often the minority within a minority, find ourselves equally as hopeful that somehow this maturing of a world-centric perspective, will see us stretch ourselves even further to include all of us. That we will see this country actually living up to the great standards set all those years ago with the creation of our Constitution, probably the most World-centric vision ever to manifest on Earth at the time. The problem was, most of the people voting and participating in this democracy were not acting from that level of development. Deep egocentric and ethnocentric currents became embedded in our institutions and local governments, divisive currents of “us” against “them” made into law. It’s our duty to undo these transgressions, heal these wounds, and realize the vision of inclusiveness this country was founded upon.

Growing up in generation X and WE, we find these transgressions unbelievable. We inherit the daunting task of rooting out and changing laws that no longer represent us as a people. This is the essence of an active, healthy Republic. Many of us have felt powerless to change something that seems to complex, so entrenched. We decide instead to heed the words of visionaries like Ghandi and change ourselves, to work on what we can with people around and us and make a difference in whatever small ways we can. This is another path to the same end. I believe the day is here when we can finally see what that kind of on-the-ground inner and outer work produces. We have grown, we have changed, there really is hope. What we can’t do is leave it up to anyone else any more. We have to be the ones that hold Obama and every leader at every level to task. They either represent us or we take them down. They are not what created this beautiful moment, we are.

I’d like to see a day when we can let people who love each other be together just like anyone else. When being an American means what it was initially intended to mean—someone who is all of the strength of their individuality, their ethnic heritage AND a citizen of this great country. I think now we are now on the cusp of recognizing ourselves as members of ONE human race and as integral members of the  family of all living things that is this planet. The circle of belonging transcends and includes. We can be ourselves AND a part of something much greater.

We can learn to move in this complex space with ease and grace and develop new tools that help us grow. We can help each other and save this planet from a vision of separateness that doesn’t truly represent WHO WE ARE. We are meant for bigger things, we are meant to BE better to each other. This process never ends, this evolution is what we are here to do consciously now. We have created a beautiful moment in history right now. We can keep this momentum if we choose to. We can realize that this process never ends and embrace that if we choose to. We can design our world view to include all that IS, not resist everything we are afraid of, if we choose to. We can develop new ways of being with each other that lift us up and push us forward. We can let love in all its forms change us and make us into everything we came here to be.

We have created something amazing here and if we hold this in our awareness and let it really resonate we can take this with us. There is an enormous amount of work to do, but after talking with hundreds of people these past few days I’m more than confident that we can do this.