tv

Previously on Lost: Holy Smokes!

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

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“Well, let’s get started.” And so it was a beginning that comprised the end of last night’s episode of Lost. As the show so adeptly does, episode five left us with one hell of a cliffhanger:  Ben, Sun and Jack — and Desmond, who came on his own mission — convened in a candle-lit church, hosted by none other than the mysterious “Eloise” we’ve heard so much about. It seems Daniel Faraday’s mother has something spiritual and mysterious in store for them (Locke’s funeral, perhaps?).

It was an episode of many reunions, both happy and not-so. The smoke monster, Lost’s B-moviest of “characters” — made his triumphant return to the island, claiming the life of two Frenchmen. A not-dead Jin reunited with the increasingly emotional Sawyer and his island friends, and Locke took a painful fall down a well and ran into Jack’s dad (also Claire’s, lest you forget!).

It was in some ways the most linear of episodes (there were no actual story-line flashbacks) and least (what’s with all the languages — French, English and Korean?). It was one of ever-changing loyalties. Ben convinces his would-be murderer, Sun, to come along to the Island; Kate decides Jack really isn’t on her side; Charlotte, the unofficial star of the episode, tells us her beloved Daniel had many years ago warned her to never come back to the island. And then she died.

Few reveals were made, but the new details we did get were juicy ones. Jack’s dad has been on the island this whole time, seemingly waiting to lead Locke to his imminent martyrdom. Eloise Hawking is in cahoots with Ben (again, who doesn’t this guy have power over). Charlotte spent childhood years on the island, which her mother told her never actually existed, thus inspiring Charlotte’s life’s work of proving her wrong.

The moments leading up to Charlotte’s death were some of the most sweetly sad Lost has yet seen. The flashes had clearly taken their toll on her brain, and so she began mumbling incoherent thoughts. Among them: “You know what mom would say about you marrying an American;” “Turn it up, I love Geronimo Jackson;” and her dying words: “I’m not allowed to have chocolate before dinner.”

We, as Lost viewers, are used to getting our treats in a mixed-up chronological order. It’s what entices us to sit through the equivalent of plot-line vegetables — seriously, network TV should not require so much on-screen translation — and so greatly rejoice in those sweet reveals.

So, let’s get started getting back to the island shall we? See you at Episode Six.

TV Beat: The Remaking of the Cop Show

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

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After The Wire perfected a new urban social realism, and CSI (and its offshoots) took Law and Order’s procedural drama to absurd technical heights, the cop show had to get a new angle. The answer: Police the realm of the spirit and cast a non-American English-speaking actor as a brainy detective with a life-changing problem and no easy love interest, and watch him struggle to make sense of life and of time. This is the strategy taken by both Life and Life on Mars.

The past week saw two metaphysical detective dramas return. After a seven-week break in its second season, Life’s Zen detective Charlie Crews resumed unraveling why he’d been framed for a triple murder (NBC, Wed., 8/9c). After an out-of-order episode aired last week, Life on Mars (ABC, Wed., 10/9c) finally delivered the belated conclusion to its mid-November mid-season cliffhanger and brought its contemporary cop, Sam Tyler, a step closer to figuring out the nature of reality-and why he’s stuck in 1973.

Life is the more straightforward of the two. Los Angeles detective Charlie Crews (played cucumber-cool by London’s Damian Lewis) spent twelve years in prison for allegedly killing his business partner and his wife and son. By the time DNA evidence exonerated him, his friends and family had turned against him, and he’d been brutalized by inmates with grudges against the police, fallen hopelessly behind on technological matters, and found comfort in Zen Buddhism. Crews is slowly piecing together why he was set up as a killer, sporadically pining for his since-remarried ex-wife, and gingerly dealing with his partner-in-policework Dani Reese (The L Word’s Sarah Shahi), whose no-longer secret boyfriend is their captain and whose father is connected to the set-up. Zen gives Crews a wealth of  koans to use as ambiguous comebacks—and a sense of peace and interconnectedness that keeps Crews calm as he faces the fact that he’s been screwed out of life (which his $50 million settlement doesn’t nearly make up for.)

Based on a British series of the same Bowie-inspired name, the David E. Kelley-initiated Life on Mars (currently helmed by Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec, and Scott Rosenberg, the trio behind the short-lived but watchable writer-can’t-go-home-again drama October Road) has a lot to live up to. Dubliner Jason O’Mara—he’ll pass for The Wire’s Sheffield-Irish Dominic West if you squint—plays Sam Tyler. A detective with New York’s fictitious 125th Precinct, Tyler was hit by a car when rushing to investigate a case. When he gets up, he’s still Sam Tyler of the 125th, but it’s 1973. Is he in a coma in 2008 dreaming that it’s 1973, or does his head injury just make him think so? Is something even stranger going on, or is this just how strange life is anyway?

The coma explanation initially seems most likely; that turned out to be the truth in the BBC version, from which the ABC show is already diverging. Within that framework, Tyler goes about his police duties as he tries to get back to 2008 by learning whatever life lessons or enacting any time-traveling plot-changes the universe is demanding of him. He dreams of his 2008 love and fellow detective, Maya (Lisa Bonet)—we assume the allusion to the Hindu concept of maya as a veiling, illusory reality is intentional—while maintaining a careful distance with his 1973 animas, a pioneering lady cop who serves as his confidant (Gretchen Mol) and a sagely hippie neighbor who opens his mind (Tanya Fischer). He encounters his parents, his young self, future mentors and criminals, real or products of his mind.

1973’s primitive technology is a continual source of amusement for Tyler; 1973’s police force, less so. Michael Imperioli plays a detective who thinks Tyler stole a promotion that should have been his. Harvey Keitel, in the casting coup of the century, nearly reprises his Bad Lieutenant role by playing the hard-drinking, suspect-beating station captain. If the show is largely missing the opportunity to revisit the crime-infested, recessionary New York that may be the future, it balances an infatuation of the style of 1973 (in terms of both visible fashion and a late-hippie aura of freedom) with a rear-view moral righteousness that rarely exceeds its place. Sam Tyler is the voice of progress and tolerance, yet he’s painfully aware that 2008 is little better than 1973. When he dusts himself off after being hit by that car, he barely registers that the housing projects that had surrounded him have been replaced by rubble and by billboards announcing that new apartments will be available on the site in 1974; it’s only when he sees the World Trade Center in the distance that he begins to understand the full magnitude of what’s happened. He rails against his colleagues’ treatment of women, gays, minorities and anti-war protesters; but when he speaks against the war in Vietnam, he also means the war in Iraq, and he has to hint to 1973 of horrors yet to come.

Life
is, unsurprisingly, a bit more detached: the closest we get to a sociopolitical history is watching Crews’s former cellmate, pension-raiding ex-CEO Ted Early (Adam Arkin) humbly teaching business school and managing Crews’s money during a recession.

Next week, both shows deal with crimes against musicians and try to figure out what the Russians have to do with their heroes’mysteries. We’ll be hoping that Life on Mars, with all its shadow-dwelling robots and shadowy conspiracies, isn’t going to start emulating Lost and its nonsensical twists, but will continue probing inner and outer realities; and that Life will more fully communicate its Zen mindfulness as its arrow approaches its bullseye. A good detective or two of the human experience might be just what we need.

Ted Haggard: Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

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The little preacher who poked around with Sideshow Bob back in the day says he no longer has those pesky, God-forsaken homoerotic urges that led to his demise in November of 2006—he’s worked through them.

Ted Haggard recently told Larry King that he considers himself to be “heterosexual with issues.” How. Convenient. Forget the gay sex. Forget Mike Jones, the male prostitute who first went public with Haggard’s hypocrisy. Forget Grant Hass, the 20-year-old male who now says that Haggard masturbated in front of him two years ago. Forget the fact that Haggard confirms all of these allegations. Forget it all.

Haggard is back to announce that he’s fundamentally heterosexual, y’all—just the way God likes us: normal, with a few “issues” to boot. Amen.

Actually, Haggard is hitting up the media circuit to promote “The Trials of Ted Haggard,” a documentary by Alexandra Pelosi (daughter of Nancy Pelosi) that debuted on HBO late last month. If you missed it, no worries. HBO will give it plenty of face time throughout the month of February. See the trailer below:

The film follows the months when Haggard, his wife, and children were banished from the state of Colorado and sent into “exile” in Arizona, where they either bummed a place to live from “nice strangers” or holed up in a cheapy motel.

We see Haggard repeatedly try to find a new job—to no avail, as his tainted reputation always gets the final say. So the man who once headed up a church of 14,000 congregants ends up working as a door-to-door health insurance salesman. And he’s not exactly making any money while he’s at it.

“I’m a loser, a first-class loser,” Haggard admits.

He’s been aware of his homosexual urges since high school, he says. When asked why he kept it a secret for so long, he says, “I feared my friends would reject me, abandon me, kick me out, and that the church would exile and excommunicate me—and that’s exactly what happened.”

At one point, Haggard talks to the camera while driving and sucking on—of all things—a long, flavored Popsicle. And out of the other side of his mouth he later claims that he’s no longer at risk for gay play. (Who’s he fooling?)

Haggard participated in a portion of the “restoration” process arranged for him by the New Life Church after the Mike Jones scandal broke and has continued therapy. He claims that the therapy has helped him work past the compulsions that made him dial up male escorts for sex. He admits, however, that he’s not fully restored—hence, those “issues”—but he’s fully happy with the relationship he shares with Gayle, his wife of 30 years.

When asked what he would be, if he had to choose between being gay and being evangelical—Lord knows you can’t be both!—Haggard answers, “Well, I am what I am. I am an Evangelical.” Of course.

Peek-a-boo! We see you, Ted Haggard.

But Haggard won’t come out—not without his bible at his side. His Bible is his weapon and he knows he can’t win any holy war without it. Problem is: The Bible condemns gay sex. So the only way to escape being the “loser” he is today is to cling to God’s truth, and deny, deny, deny his own.

Haggard may regain some popularity with his fellow churchgoers this way, but his strategy is ultimately flawed. Falling in line with unjust church propaganda is no different from falling to one’s knees in defeat. And a denial of one’s sexuality results in a loss of self, so—Mr. Hetero has weaseled himself into a lose-lose situation.

“I’m a loser, a first-class loser,” he says.

Well, at this rate, Haggard may be onto something.

“The Trials of Ted Haggard” shows repeatedly throughout February.

Lost in Love, In Love with Lost

Thursday, February 5th, 2009
No Love Lost Here.

No Love Lost Here.

Now, that’s more like it.

You know how when you’re about to break up with someone, and though you haven’t yet said anything somehow they sense it and suddenly become everything you want them to be?  Or instead they pull away a bit, just to see if you’ll stick around to see what’s next? Lost has been testing our love so far this season, but it clearly wants us back.

After a pretty “meh” Episode Three, wherein the two Big Events of the show were finding out that (shock!) Charles Widmore had been on the Island as a young man (was this really all that surprising?) and that the redhead chick got another nose bleed, this week’s Lost roared out out of the doghouse with a thoroughly compelling — and thoroughly confusing — Episode Four.

The show sent many plotline valentines to its more romantic viewers. Kate told Jack “I have always been with you;” Jin (the love of Sun’s life) proved to be alive; Jack rescued a near-hysterical Kate from having to give up Aaron, and a teary-eyed Sawyer exhibited feelings of true love upon witnessing an island-rewind of Claire’s childbirth with Kate as de facto midwife.

It was jam-packed with bits of nearly every major Lost story: the combustible Kate-Jack-Sawyer love triangle; the clandestine Kate masquerading as mother to Claire’s son;  the vengeful “Kill Ben” version of Sun; Team Jack; Team Locke; Team Ben; Team Faraday and the time-warping Islanders; Others, French others and other Others. The one big missing piece was the Desmond-Widmore chronicles — and thank God for this small mercy. We got more than enough of that in Episode Three.

Each story in Episode Four had at least one reveal: Ben is trying to take Aaron away from Kate! Hurley really is in jail (orange jumpsuit and all)! Jin is Alive! Rousseau is back (and young)! Locke may turn out to be a martyr after all! The redhead isn’t the only one on the Island getting nosebleeds! The French settlers arrived via raft! Jack continues to fall for Ben’s ruse! And so on. (An aside: what is it about Ben that makes everyone fall prey to his charms? It certainly isn’t his deathly pallor or his creepy, Hannibal Lecteresque manner of speaking.)

And just when you thought you’d gotten as much new information as you could handle, yet more Other Others show up. And they speak French without subtitles. And they find a barely conscious Jin floating in the ocean, Titanic-survivor style. And it’s, like, 30 years ago. Even poor, shipwrecked Jin seems completely (and I guess appropriately) lost when he learns that one of his rescuers is a Frenchwoman named Rousseau.

It was almost too much to take. Even the most devoted of fans seemed paralytically perplexed: the internet chatter was eerily quiet following last night’s airing. Perhaps everyone needed a little time to process the massive slab of new information (this writer included) before making any comments. No wonder ABC kept flashing the “Lost Untangled” teasers in the bottom-right corner of the screen throughout.

An in-case-you-missed it tidbit for the DVR crowd: if you skipped over the ads you missed a promo for a new ABC show called The Unusuals. And guess who’s in it? Harold Perrineau, Jr, the guy who plays Michael in Lost. True, actors have been known to have more than one job at once, but this could be seen as a clue into the whereabouts of “Michael” .

Of course, it wouldn’t be an episode of Lost without some aggravatingly answered questions. The Oceanic Six is trying our patience: either get off your collective ass and decide to go back to the island, or don’t. We’re sick of waiting around. You have one week.

The TV Beat: Recapping Superbowl Sunday

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

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The week in TV offered a roundup of American masculinity as Bruce Springsteen slid his crotch into the faces of Super Bowl viewers around the world, and The Office’s Michael learned how to take it like a man.


The Super Bowl lineup was fitting for a deepening recession and a new Democratic administration. The Arizona Cardinals aren’t just from John McCain’s state, they play in the sort of faceless suburb that’s been largely responsible for Republican victories in our recent past. And they have plenty of geriatric appeal. The Cardinals’ Glendale home fancies itself an antiques capital; founded in Chicago in 1898, they’re the longest-running team in football.


They’re not the Chicago Bears, but the Pittsburgh Steelers evoke the Democratic party’s old base. Family-owned, they call a gritty—but still-thriving—old manufacturing town home. Their logo, borrowed from US Steel and the American Iron and Steel Institute, calls to mind an era when America and its men made things, when the world economy was fueled not by unsound mortgages and Ponzi schemes but by mining and manufacturing. It’s fitting that the Steelers recovered from the Cardinals’ October surprise to win the game, and even more fitting that blue-collar bard Bruce Springsteen, fresh off playing the inauguration and winning a Golden Globe, played halftime.

Should we be relieved or disappointed that Springsteen’s short set didn’t include “Born in the USA”? The song is from that period when the Boss got his teeth capped and danced with Courtney Cox, and it feels almost like a cliché now—but its tale of a jobless vet is sadly timely. What we got instead was the hopeful side of Springsteen: the kid-with-a-dream-starting-a-band in “Tenth Avenue Freaze Out,” the adolescent desperation of “Born to Run,” the tenacious “Working On a Dream”—and “Glory Days,” sort of a “Born in the USA”-lite, minus the politics. But why play working class hero when you can pander to the audience by changing your lyrics to fit the sporting event, as Springsteen did by changing the baseball references in “Glory Days” to more football-appropriate (if nonsensical) chatter? And why ignite political controversy when there’s the important Super Bowl tradition of sexual quasi-controversy to maintain? Following the fine work Janet Jackson did with that wardrobe malfunction and Prince’s expert fondling of his phallic guitar, the prince of Asbury Park slammed crotch-first into a camera man. It was amusing, baffling, and unlikely to convince any of Springsteen’s skeptical fans that this wasn’t a sell-out


The hour-long Office special that followed the game celebrated the inauguration in its own way. Ever-diligent Dwight’s surprise fire drill—complete with real fire—went, unsurprisingly, horribly wrong, resulting in an office-wide panic that (coincidentally?) injured a few more cameramen, and in a heart attack for Stanley. Michael’s bumbling way to revive Stanley: “Barack is President! You are black!” Michael’s equally bumbling way to welcome him back as he recuperates: refuse to give him chocolate ice cream, explaining, “Racism is dead, you can have any kind of ice cream you want.”


To his credit, sort of, Michael realizes he’s a major source of stress contributing to his colleague’s cardiac problem, and tries to make up for it by holding a roast in his own honor so his employees can freely make fun of him. The idea backfires: their jokes crush him (and, most importantly, aren’t that funny). But Michael eventually pulls himself up by his bootstraps and once again takes responsibility, smoothing things over with his colleagues by roasting them. That, we learn on Super Bowl Sunday, is the American way: the self-made man dusts himself off, gets things done, and then pulls a questionable stunt for comedic effect.

Meanwhile, the Dunder Mifflin gang watches a bootleg video that provides a way for NBC to stuff an assortment of guest stars into this very special episode, thanks to an odd make-out scene between Jack Black and Cloris Leachman, proving that there are second acts in American lives.