Stuck in ice? Five weary dolphins are trapped behind a drifting pack of ice off the coast of Sea Cove, Newfoundland. They have been stuck in this shrinking area for four days and are in urgent need of rescue. Somehow the dolphins got separated from the open Atlantic, said Mayor Winston May of the Canadian province. According to an expert from the Whale Release and Strandings group, the dolphins will drown if the ice continues to cover the open area. The dolphins need to surface above water in order to breath.  At the moment, the Canadian federal Fisheries Department does not have an icebreaker to send.  Sadly, the dolphins are crying out for help..literally. “They’re not going to survive much longer,” said May. “You can hear (the dolphins) crying all night long,” he said. Hopefully, Canada will figure out a way to rescue the dolphins before it’s too late.

Paying for pollution? You betcha. BP Products North America, the international energy company, will shell out almost $180 million to settle a Department of Justice and Environmental Protection Agency pollution case. Back in March 2005, an explosion and fire killed 15 people and injured more than 170. The British oil company division will pay $161 million for pollution controls, another $12 million in penalties (whoa!) and then yet another $6 million for an air pollution reduction project near their refinery in Texas.The company already plead guilty to breaking the Clean Air Act and will pay $50 million in fees. Somehow, it doesn’t seem like these expensive environmental mishaps are hurting this company.

New York Fashion Week Goes Green. By adding recycling bins for bottles, cans, aluminum, glass, plastic and cardboard, Coca-Cola Recycling LLC helped the Mercedes-Benz Fall Fashion Week Fall 2009 Collections, Feb. 13-20 make a green statement. Twenty-five bins were placed throughout the Bryant Park complex to allow anyone to “Give It Back.” See you can have style and be green too! Hopefully, other major fashion events will partner with Coke or other recycling companies to make being green chic!

Obama to the rescue! Burning up in California? Well, President-Elect Obama’s got your back. Our boy’s campaign website is asking folks to help the victims of the southern California wildfires by volunteering their time or donating to the cause through his website. Finally! A president that gives a shite.

China finally decided to check itself. The Chinese government announced today that will implement some food safety standards and start regulating its dairy producers. At least four babies have died over the last three months, due to complications from ingesting milk products contaminated with an industrial chemical. This isn’t the first time China has promised to clean up its act, so let’s not hold our breath . . .

Flying private jets to ask for handouts? Here we go again. Top execs from the three big auto companies—Ford, Chevy, and GM—flew to Washington, D.C. on their fancy private jets to ask for fat taxpayer handouts for their struggling businesses. During their meeting, they also promised to streamline their operations to cut down costs—you know, like, instead of drinking sparkling water, they’ll now drink regular ol’ bottled water on board those private jets. It’s a tough concession, but somebody’s got to do it.

Canada officially wins the Miss Congeniality award. The Supreme Court of Canada ruled today that obese people are allowed to reserve two seats for the price of one on airlines. The one-person-one-fare policy is a significant win in the ongoing dispute over whether airlines should mandate individuals over a certain weight to purchase two seats when they fly. The airlines argue that patrons seated next to these folks are denied a certain degree of comfort and space on flights. My question is: What comfort? And what space? Unless we’re any one of the execs from the three big auto companies mentioned above (ahem, ahem) we get no comfort and space up in those jets.

Hey Mickey, you’re so old. You’re so old, you smell like mold. Hey Mickey! Everyone’s favorite animated mouser turned 80 years old this week. In honor of the occasion, I hear the animators are going to replace those fashionable red trunks with an even better look—a Disney-themed adult diaper. W00t! W00t!

“It’s Barack Obama’s party now.”

So led the AP yesterday.  It’s been a challenge to sort through this mess.  Everyone tip-toeing around the slim prospect of Hillary somehow, someway stealing what Obama wrapped up mathematically at least a month ago.  Even though he has been reluctant to say anything definitive, his actions have spoken louder than his words, with his campaign’s eye focused squarely on John McCain.  He has officially severed all ties with his Trinity UCC church that has plagued him since Super Tuesday.  And he is set to speak at a rally in St. Paul, ostensibly to announce his victory in the primaries…in the same spot where the Republican National Convention will be held in August.  Ballsy!

Recent buzz says that Hillary is coming to terms with the loss after the DNC’s decision to seat the Florida and Michigan delegates at half strength.  That she will abandon any and all last ditch efforts to convince the superdelegates that she has a better shot at beating McCain in November.  It’s expected that the 200 or so uncommitted superdelegates remaining will rally behind Obama once the last two primaries are over on Tuesday.

It’s been tough even now to decipher what is filtering through the press from Hillary and from her delegate guru Harold Ickes.  Reports are that Hillary herself has said the race could be over this week. Ickes has said that she is reserving her right to appeal the Rules Committee decision and take the fight all the way to the convention, but he has also been quoted saying that Obama would make a great president and that whoever the nominee is, the other will rally behind that person unequivocally.

And then this email from Hillary’s campaign comes over:

Another big win! Today in Puerto Rico, the voters spoke with a powerful voice to say that this race is not over yet. And thanks to your support, we’re celebrating another great victory.

When all the votes in Puerto Rico are counted, our popular vote lead will be even bigger. More than 17 million people have cast their ballots for our campaign, more votes than any candidate has received in the history of the Democratic Party. Now there can be no doubt: the people have spoken and you have chosen your candidate. We are winning the popular vote.

The semantics of “more votes than any candidate has received in the history of the Democratic Party” is misleading though as it counts all of the votes in Michigan without counting any of the “uncommitted” votes (presumably write-ins for an absent Obama).  For further dissection of Hillary’s manipulative fact-stating, check out this article.  Not only does she have to exclude the uncommitted votes in Michigan, she also has to exclude any votes cast in caucus states.  You know, caucuses…those pesky little things her campaign strategy completely ignored, paving the way for Obama’s post-Super Tuesday winning streak that locked this baby up for him.

Bottom line:  by all fairly presented metrics, Hillary has lost.  How much more respect within the party and with the American people she is willing to lose as well is up to her.

*****

Turning to the Middle East, Time reports that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — favorite whipping boy of US general election gaffe-ology –  is facing waning popular support and may not win a second term next year.

Ali Larijani projected a presidential bearing as he accepted his election as speaker of Iran’s parliament on Wednesday — a vote that boded ill for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Larijani, a high-profile arch-rival of the President, addressed global themes in his address to the opening session of the Majlis, dressing down the International Atomic Energy Agency and praising Hizballah. Despite the tough talk that was welcomed by some of the legislators with shouts of “God is great!” and “Death to America!” Larijani received a congratulatory call from European Union Foreign Policy Chief Javier Solana — an old negotiating partner. While Iran’s insistence on its right to enrich uranium unites all major factions in the country, Larijani represents a more pragmatic approach to handling the issue, aimed at finding agreement with the West and avoiding confrontation.

Oh, Time!  You are so coy!  It’s so hilarious how you lead with Larijani basically taking the exact same stances that have made good old Mahmoud so unpopular, follow up with some more crazy A-rabs shouting death to America, but then say that Larijani really is a more pragmatic individual.  Did Scott McClellan write this article?

Sadly, no.  Scott Macleod blunders his way through what could likely be a monstrous turning point in the general election, in US foreign policy, in Iranian foreign policy, and for the entire region, instead choosing to confuse matters with a royally convoluted lead.

All of the good information presented afterward (like the below) is clouded as a result.

The shift reflects the fact that Ahmadinejad has alienated many in his own conservative camp with an arrogant personal style and erratic economic and foreign policies. While he still enjoys solid popular support, many Iranians bitterly complain that inflation and unemployment have left the economy in a shambles despite record oil revenues.

The Boston Globe has a much more concise analysis of the situation.  Larijani was the chief nuclear negotiator for Iran, is in the good graces of supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (the Iranian Wizard of Oz…calling all the shots from behind the curtain), and by all accounts is a pretty reasonable guy.  Put another reasonable guy in office here and we might have something resembling discourse.

*****

Speaking of discourse…

McSame (a term of endearment used among HuffPo and ThinkProgress commenters) followed-up a week of hammering Obama on his lack of experience and judgment when it comes to the Middle East with a few blunders of his own.

He was obliterated across the Internet for saying that we had drawn down to pre-surge troop levels (we’re at 155,000 in Iraq; 130,000 was pre-surge).  He then commented that things are “quiet” in Mosul when that very day, multiple suicide bombings occurred.

Dude.  Come on, bro.  I mean, seriously.  Wtf.  You’re gonna hinge your entire campaign, as well as your first huge series of attacks on your likely rival in the general election, on Iraq, and you can’t even remember how many troops there are?  I’m sorry, but that’s just inexcusable.  He might not have known about the bombings in Mosul, but failing to read a stat sheet for 15 seconds is an absurdly careless error.  There’s no other word to describe it than hubris (even though some would claim senility).

The HuffPost’s Sam Stein has some amusing original reporting on the press conference McCain’s campaign called in response:

The campaign aides also ridiculed reporters for even caring about the topic. “It is the essence of semantics,” foreign policy adviser Randy Scheunemann said. “We are having this call about a verb tense and if you choose to write a story about Sen. McCain’s use of a verb tense you need to hold Senator Obama to that exact same standard.”

All of which, of course, simply piqued the interest of reporters. Michael Dobbs of the Washington Post pointed out that, contrary to the McCain campaign’s tone, word choice does, in fact, matter. “If Bush had said ‘the mission will be accomplished’ as opposed to ‘mission accomplished’ — those are two completely different things with completely different meanings.”

An increasingly irritated Scheunemann responded: “If you’re going to start fact-checking verb tenses, we’re going to make sure we start monitoring verb tenses a lot more closely than we have in this campaign.”

Even funnier:

“It is very disturbing to have John McCain continue to raise questions about what he knows and what he bases his judgments on,” Sen. John Kerry said. “If you don’t know the number of troops, it is difficult to make a judgment as to whether they are overextended. … It raises serious questions about his comprehension of this challenge.”

All of which, apparently, was a step too far for the McCain folks. Hoping to shift attention away from his boss, Scheunemann cried ‘journalistic double standard.’

“If we are going to talk about verb tenses in this level of detail, rather than the fact that Senator Obama doesn’t care about what is going on in Iraq to even meet General Petraeus or to take time to visit the country in the last 873 days, let’s talk about some of the other things that Senator Obama has misstated, like campaigning in 57 states, like the need for Arabic translators in Afghanistan, or for opium poppy agronomists in Iraq, or a non-existent uncle that helped the Red Army liberate Auschwitz.”

A reporter later reminded him that McCain had structured his campaign on his judgment on Iraq. Obama had not, in the same regard, built his candidacy around his great uncle or the map of the United States.

The press is in love with Obama.  It’s the truth and it’s a fact that McCain is going to have to overcome, just how NBA players have to adapt to how refs are calling a particular game.  Instead of whining, if they’re not calling fouls in the post, you better get your ass in there and bang some bodies.

*****

Btw, Rupert Murdoch thinks that Obama is going to win.  The old reverse psychology jinx strategy!  Rupert, you dog.

*****

The BBC reports that Canadians are taking serious issue with Facebook’s privacy (or lack thereof).   Just exactly what do our neighbors to the north have to hide, ehhh???

*****

And the gits and shiggles moment…”Why every guy should buy their girlfriend Wii Fit.”

Now before you cry sexism or misogyny or whatever for actually giving this video some run, hear me out.  It was passed my way by a friend (male, obviously) giving the “check this out” with a wink and a nod.  Yes, some douche recorded his panty-clad girlfriend gyrating with a virtual hula-hoop and then gloats about it to all 1.2 million people who have watched it thus far.

Look a bit closer, however, and you see all 1.2 million people who have viewed this, all because some chick has a nice ass, are victims.  The video was uploaded by the user “tinsleyadvertising”.  If the name doesn’t tip you off, the other videos posted by the same user should be a clear indication that this is one of the most clever viral ad campaigns ever conceived.  They’re all commercials.

Think family-friendly Nintendo is wise to this little maneuver?

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