four christmases

Christmas Movies 2008: Year of Coal-Filled Lameness

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

With the limited shelf space for holiday movies, the consensus in Hollywood is that one Christmas-themed pic per year is more than enough. However, 2008 brings you an embarrassment of Christmas riches in the form of two craptacular holiday movies that are rehashed, unfunny, and not exactly filled with holiday spirit.

The biggest culprit is inexplicable box office smash Four Christmases. Vince Vaughn and John Favreau play basically the same characters they’ve been playing since Made in 2001. You get the feeling Vaughn and Favreau just made the flick so they could hang out together. After directing Elf in 2003, Favreau must have decided Christmas movies were easy money, and convinced Vaughn to take part in this holiday tradition: Vaughn—who went on to make Fred Claus, 2007’s holiday non-classic—has now starred in two godawful pics two years in a row.

The oddest aspect of Four Christmases is the casting of Reese Witherspoon—she’s supposed to be Vaughn’s long-time girlfriend, but their chemistry is nonexistent. It is difficult to believe a character with type-A personality tics, would be in love with the bullshit-talking Vaughn character.

The film has less to do with Christmas and more to do with being a rip-off of Meet the Parents. Simply substitute some casting choices, subtract a few sight gags, and rotate in a Christmas background, and they’re the same movie. As such, the movie doesn’t hold a sprig of mistletoe, even compared with Favreau’s Elf, and certainly not against any actual holiday classics.

2008’s second place holiday movie, in every respect, is Nothing Like the Holidays, which is like a Puerto Rican take on The Family Stone. If you don’t get enough family fighting, fatal diseases, and special Iraq war moments in your real life, why not watch a Christmas movie about it?

As a movie Nothing Like the Holidays is more interesting than Four Christmases because of the interesting cultural touches, and the actual family moments, like the three siblings ending up in the attic together talking shit about each other— which are genuinely moving and intimate. On the whole, though, Nothing Like the Holidays is too heavy-handed. Nothing will stop a movie from entering the classic holiday cannon like being inescapably depressing.

Don’t go see these movies. TBS will play 24 hours of A Christmas Story. Admit it: it’s the Christmas movie you really want. Pole licking, B.B. guns and angry parents: what’s not to love?

Monday Movie Report: When It Rains, It… Snows

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

Scrooged, my favorite Christmas movie.

As if the flailing economy weren’t bad enough, it’s snowing across wide swaths of the country, where people aren’t even getting out of the house, for Christmas shopping or movies.

The weekend numbers were down 44 percent from this time last year. Jim Carey’s Yes Man got top honors with $18 mil, followed by another debut, Will Smith’s Seven Pounds, which brought in $16 mil. Kiddie book-turned-flick The Tale of Despereaux took in $11 mil as the family alternative. Looks cute!

The Day the Earth Stood Still came in fourth with $10 mil, and in some sort of holiday… miracle, Four Christmases continued to rack up numbers in its fourth weekend, rounding out the top five with $8 mil.

I go back and forth between adoring (Wedding Crashers, Mr. and Mrs. Smith) and despising (The Break-Up, Fred Claus) Vince Vaughn, but I’m guessing 4XMs would fall into the latter category. Besides, didn’t anyone see the report that watching romantic comedies makes you unhappy? Too much to risk this time of year, as I am teetering on the edge of sanity already.

In other news, more stars are coming out against the strike, which goes to vote in January (results announced on the 23rd). Charlie Sheen has added his name to the list of anti-strikers, which goes against dad Martin’s public position. I would love to be a fly on the wall at their Christmas dinner.

A little shout out to our friends over at /film, who are awesome and made this *amazing* faux trailer for the Thundercats movie we have always wished Hollywood would make. If I could have one wish this Christmas…

Monday Movie Report: Here’s…. Hugh!

Monday, December 15th, 2008

Hugh Jackman (Australia, Wolverine) has been tapped to host the Academy Awards this year! It’s a big change from the comedians who have hosted in the past, but Jackman has experience as an emcee, hosting the Tonys for three (very popular) years.  Expect some singin’ and dancin’, but the opening monologue will likely be cut (don’t cry!). As a commenter on The Carpetbagger wrote:

All Hugh Jackman has to do—anywhere at all—is stand there and look delectable and smile (he has a brilliant smile). My God, what a gorgeous man. Double-dipped eye candy. Mmmmmmmm

My thoughts exactly.

In box office news, The Day the Earth Stood Still blew away the competition, bringing in $31 mil over the weekend. Runner-up Four Christmases came away with a third of that. ($13 mil). A familiar trio rounded out the top five: Bolt, Twilight, and Australia, with $8, $7.5, and $4 mil, respectively.

The weekend was down 50 percent from last year. The problem is that the newest releases just aren’t performing. Australia was a disappointment. Punisher 2 was barely a blip on the box office radar. Nothing Like the Holidays (which I couldn’t place at first, but is the cute-looking Debra Messing/John Leguiszamo xmas comedy) came in seventh in its opening weekend. The animated Delgo (heard of it?) made a small history this weekend, as the least-grossing film to ever open on over 2,000 screens. Congratulations?

That said, there are a lot of limited releases out now which might be making an appearance at that Jackman event in February. Milk, Frost/Nixon, Doubt, and Gran Torino are all performing well.

Speaking of Jackman, the Wolverine trailer just launched on MySpace. Take a peek: