The opening skit of the recent Saturday Night Live show featured Dan Aykroyd as Senate Minority Leader, John Boehner (R-Ohio), in a funny Republican “meeting of the minds.” These GOP leaders sit around the table to discuss the so-called Republican agenda. Their top priorities were disowning the Obama Stimulus Package (to excuse themselves from any blame about the economy), complaining about the Obama girls sleepovers and plotting to get the President impeached after only three weeks. Their resounding chant: “Majority here we come!” With the recent negotiations surrounding the stimulus package, it makes you wonder if there is any truth to this skit! Check out the video.

Automaker Bailout? Although Congressional Democrats and the White House reached an agreement on the $15 billion government bailout for the automakers industry, the bill faces challenges from House Republicans. The GOP has created their own plan that would help the car companies without the American taxpayers financing it. “Republicans will not allow taxpayers to subsidize failure,” Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican minority leader, said on Wednesday to the New York Times. Other GOP senators said they would use procedural methods to delay the bailout vote.

Will the bailout = no more Saturns? With the automaker deal pending, Saturn fans are concerned that GM will discontinue their line after the company performs a bailout reorganization. Although General Motors hasn’t officially announced the end of Saturn, GM said it would focus its resources on four core brands—Cadillac, Chevrolet, Buick and GMC in the plan submitted to Congress. This leaves Saab, Pontiac, Hummer and Saturn hanging on a limb. Saturnfans.com features owners who are speaking out to save their cars. Who knew Saturn had so many loyal fans?

Feeling a little fat during the holiday season? Well, you are not alone. Even the Queen of Daytime Television, Oprah Winfrey, feels like a “fat cow.” Oprah reveals her weight struggles after the scales topped 200 pounds reports CNN. Check out the video.

What does the President-elect say about Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich arrest? According to Barack Obama’s spokesperson, Obama thinks the Governor should resign from office.  “The President-elect agrees with Lt. Governor Quinn and many others that under the current circumstances it is difficult for the Governor to effectively do his job and serve the people of Illinois,” spokesman Robert Gibbs said.  Will Blagojevich please step down?

Republicans come into the new year down, but not out.

Stoic Republicans huddled together at the Hyatt-Regency in Irvine on election night, rallying themselves for at least two years “in the wilderness” of American politics.

Scott Baugh, Chairman of the Republican Party of Orange County, told the crowd, “When Barack Obama and the Democrats are right, we will support them, but when Barack Obama and the Democrats are not right, we will offer a positive alternative that stands up for families and taxpayers.”

Baugh closed by saying, “To all the Democrats who won, including Barack Obama, we say lease, don’t buy, because in two years the Republican party will be back.”

The overwhelming Republican defeat on Tuesday (losing six Senate seats, 17 House seats, and the presidency) didn’t come as a surprise to attendees of the ironically-named “Victory 08 Election Night Party.” “I came here to commiserate with my friends,” one attendee said.

Yet, despite the changing national winds, Orange County, “The Most Republican County in America,” managed to  re-elect Congressman Dana Rohrabacher on Tuesday, against a challenger Baugh called “a liberal, Democrat, communist, not-nice lady.”

Vitriol against the now-dominant Democrats was surpassed only by anger at Republican leadership of the past few years.

Rohrabacher, who supported Mitt Romney in the primaries, railed against the “elistist” policies of George Bush, Karl Rove, and John McCain. “This administration, and McCain, did not represent the heart and soul of the Republican party,” he said.

He called party leadership “half-hearted,” and criticized McCain for not taking on illegal immigration in this election cycle. “Do not despair,” he told his constituents, “tonight’s rout was not a rejection of fundamental Republican principles or values. It was a rejection of our Republican leadership.”

He accused the Republicans of “paying lipservice to fundamental values and fundamental issues,” including illegal immigration, which he has been a vocal critic of throughout his career, and also the “one-way free trade policy” with China. “If we are on the side of the American people, why are we ignoring one of the most important issues to the well-being of our fellow citizens?” He asked.

The Republican throw-down was peppered with encouragement to the crowd that the times are a-changin’, and the future of the party is the future of the country. “We have to talk about what we’re going to do to save America,” Rohrabacher insisted.

Scott Baugh of the Cali GOP

“If we don’t face reality, we are going to see, not only our party not go anywhere, but our country and our fellow countrymen suffer greatly,” he said. In response to a  question about the statement, he specified that “the very far-left policies of Obama are going to cause great problems for our country, and his national security policies will put us in jeopardy.”

Then again, he also said that it was a mistake to nominate George W. Bush “the first time.”

Rohrabacher’s message to the party was hopeful. He ended his speech by saying, “We are the heart and soul of the Republican party… and we are going to save America from the road they have put us on.”

Be careful what you ask for: Barack Obama won the US presidency in convincing fashion, taking 53% of the popular vote and snagging the lion’s share of the electoral college (349 with North Carolina and Missouri still hanging out there, according to CNN). With plenty of “this is breaking down racial barriers” stories already on tap for the immediate news of his win, the media is turning to the “now what?” question. The answer is a resounding “this man has a lot of work to do and an uphill battle to get it done,” despite Democrats having almost total control over both houses of Congress (they just missed the filibuster-proof 60 seat majority in the Senate). What is clear is that Obama has the support of his country and his planet like no one this generation has ever seen.

Bittersweet Victory: Californians (as well as Floridians and Arizon…ians?) elated with the symbolic progress their country made last night by electing the first African-American president had a short honeymoon when they awoke to discover Proposition 8, which writes a ban on gay marriage into the state constitution, passed by a narrow margin. The nation appears to have moved beyond the racism that suppressed Black America just 50 short years ago, but has replaced it with a church-sanctioned form of bigotry. Between the vast financial support of the Mormon Church (you know, the people exiled to their own state because of intolerance) and the supposed “Obama Effect” of socially conservative minority voters showing up in droves for Barack and voting for Prop 8, I think we can all agree that gay is the new black in this country.

Oh yeah, those guys: So what is on tap for the GOP? For starters, the real John McCain finally made an appearance last night during a magnificent concession speech where booing at the mention of Obama’s name epitomized everything wrong with his party. Conservative writers lament Obama’s electoral landslide as a referendum on Republican economic policy, but as Elizabeth Dole would probably tell you, it was more a definitive death-blow to the Atwater/Rovian/Schmidt style of smear tactics and voter-intimidation by fear.

Oh yeah, her: The real enigma of the GOP is Sarah Palin. McCain gave her a full-throated endorsement for 2012 in his speech last night, even though she apologized for costing him votes. But Steve Schmidt equivocated when asked early on Election Day if Palin was to blame for his campaign’s eventual loss. Not exactly the unified front we are used to seeing from a party that had won seven of the past 10 national elections. She tickled the base, but the Moral Majority might be no more and one has to think that Republican strategists are already concocting ways of replacing the requisite pandering to the Religious Right with a broader appeal. Whether or not she studies up in the next four years will determine if she is her party’s savior, or its John Edwards.

And the award for the most shamless election night technological gimmick goes to: CNN. No shocker here, coming from the network with more giant flatscreens than a Cribs marathon. After several teases by a purple-tie-wearing Wolf Blitzer as “something you have never seen on television before,” Jessica Yellin was beamed into the election center as a hologram for conversation with the political reindeer himself. Why have we never seen this on live TV before? Because it’s absolutely f***ing worthless. “Help me Ander-San Cooper, you’re this network’s only hope.”

Award for most interesting, non-racial, non-freak-out at the uphill battle, post-election slant: McClatchy’s story on how Obama plans to utilize his 3 million strong volunteer database as president.

Is it a recession? The stock market went south this morning after Wachovia reported its big quarterly loss. The global markets have also tumbled down. Mortgage rates are at an 8-year low. And 41 states reported job losses in September. Plus, the U.S. had the highest level of mass layoffs, when employers let go of 50+ employees, since 9/11. Even tech giant, Yahoo is expected to layoff at least 1,500 employees.

The good news: credit markets improved as bank-to-bank lending rates declined. And there is a possibility of a second economic stimulus package after the presidential election.

Early voting rates is leading many election officials to forecast 2008 as record turnout year. And in many states, African Americans are “turning out in disproportionate numbers.”

However, an Albuquerque woman was recently turned away from the polls because she wore an Obama t-shirt. Apparently, New Mexico’s law prevents any campaign paraphernalia, including good ole tees, from appearing at the polls (but allows intoxicated people to vote). Hmm… So word to the wise, don’t wear your favorite Obama or McCain shirt to the polls.

With only two weeks left until Election Day, the most recent Pew poll has Obama leading McCain by 14 points. And the Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby poll released today has Obama up by 10 points.

Palin’s in the hot seat big time now. In addition to “Troopergate”, Ms. Governor of Alaska has been accused of using the state’s money to fund her children’s travel to the tune of over $21,000. And to keep Palin looking her best on the campaign trail, the Republican Party has reportedly spent more than $150,000 on her wardrobe.

Although she has been called a role model for women, the owners of this web site are calling Palin an idiot. Ouch!

And speaking of potential role models (not!), Britney Spears case ends in a mistrial. The jurors simply couldn’t agree on whether Spears was driving without her license. Meanwhile, her song “Womanizer” is at the top of the Billboard music charts.

With the DNC over and the temperamental limelight now hovering towards McCain’s more than slightly surprising VP choice and the impending (weather-based, obstacle ridden?) Republican National Convention, the GOP doesn’t seem to be having their expected grand old party lashing out against the Obama campaign…today. But the day is young and the elephants have not yet been wished happy hunting.

Over the course of the Denver-based convention, however, the McCain Campaign, National Review and folks such as Michelle Malkin, Mark Hemingway and Ann Coulter went to town with a bevy of nasty tidbits that “more than hinted” (cough) at a hope to subvert Obama’s influence (or to simply get a gleeful two cents in).

The Brief Breakdown:

Mon, 8-25: On Michelle Obama’s Speech:

In what can be shocking only to an earthworm lodged deep in the world’s core and away from the sensory-overload producing buzz of this election and American politics in general, we read that Ann Coulter did not like Michelle Obama’s speech.

Here’s an excerpt of her reaction:

The speech itself felt mechanical. There were some interesting quotes including:

“I love America!” [Note: As an aside, I feel like if you have to say it, you call it into question.]

“We will build the world as it should be.”

“Hillary Clinton put 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling”–and this is a paraphrase–and changed the world for our girls. [I'm sure Hillary is happy to know she paved the way for Michelle's daughters.]

She also said some airy, fairy stuff about stellar education from cradle to grave, but no specifics other than by “bringing us together” and finding the “common thread”. Whatever the hell that means.

At the end of the speech, there was a staged moment where Barack was piped in via satellite and talked to his girls who were absolutely precious. To me, I think that part was the “winning” moment, if there was one. The all-American family. The all-American black family. Very powerful.

Tues, 8-26: On Hillary Clinton’s Speech:

Unabashed and hilarious hard-hitter Michelle Malkin pulled no live-blogging punches in describing Hillary as an “orange creamsicle,” in languishing in descriptions of Clinton as a liar and in highlighting the possible enmity between Hillary and Michelle Obama.

A portion of her writing shows:

She’s telling all her old campaign victim anecdotes. Gives a shout out to the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits.

Ewww.

A nice tribute to the son of Stephanie Tubbs Jones and the widow of Bill Gwaltney.

A galling reference to Chinese dirty money and private profits over the public good.

Michelle O can barely get through this. Hasn’t cracked a smile yet.

Well, this will probably seal the deal. Another cutaway to the new ice queen, Michelle O….

Hillary gives her hubby a shout-out. Standing ovation. Michelle O and Joe B gingerly clapping again. Is that fear in their eyes?

A dig at Obama’s differences with her on health care: “I can’t wait until Barack Obama signs a law that covers every single American in this country.”

11:05pm Eastern. She’s quoting Harriet Tubman. “Keep going.” Almost lapsing into her Selma accent. “We’re Americans and we don’t quit…we don’t have a moment to lose or a moment to spare.” Her accent, whatever it is, is getting thicker.

Over.

Forced smiles all around.

Wed, 8-27: On Bill Clinton’s Speech:

Mark Hemingway’s answer to Mr. Clinton’s speech, published in the National Review was somewhat gentle and even quite flattering, if a portrayal of it as “rousing partisan screed” (see below):

Denver — The reviews are in, and Bill Clinton has given the best speech of the Democratic convention thus far. True, the bar hadn’t been set at a daunting height for the most talented politician of his generation — but credit is due where credit is due. Bill Clinton’s speech was an impressive display of partisan red meat at a convention that was showing signs of anemia. Watching the soporific John Kerry come out after Clinton was like watching Tiny Tim stroll on stage with his ukulele seconds after Jimi Hendrix had dropped his still-scorching Stratocaster.

That, however, is all the Clinton speech was — a rousing partisan screed. Alleged acrimony between the Clinton and Obama campaigns has been much buzzed about all week — and not for nothing. The on-camera denials have been as unconvincing as the off-the-record gripes have been frequent. Even when Barack Obama made his “surprise” appearance at the end of the night and singled out the Clintons for their support, you could almost hear Bill and Hillary restating their tentative endorsement through clenhed teeth: America deserves Barack Obama . . . good and hard.

Thurs, 8-28: On Barack Obama’s Speech:

Michelle Malkin took great pleasure in painting Obama as a holier-than-thou snot, or “Snobama,” or leader of a goon squad, from Harvard in her campaign-parodying images.

The McCain Campaign followed its presentation of Obama as a celebrity with alternate images of him, using the structure of the stage at the INVESCO field as an inspiration, as a self-proclaimed–but no less hallowed– Greco-Roman God-figure…much in the spirit of its delighted characterization of him as “The One” as well as of a novice simply “not ready” to fill the hot seat.

So. The dual-sided, putrefied mud-slinging ping pong of insult and injury continues in vivid form. After all, this democracy is red and blue in tooth and claw.

Originally posted on moby.com on August 8.

The first image above is a button that was on sale at the Texas GOP Convention.  According to Politico’s Ben Smith:  “The speakers were generally respectful of Obama, the Dallas Morning News reports, but this is the sort of stuff that the RNC has been warning state parties about for months.”

From P+P contributor Ryan Barrett:  “I’m actually happy the GOP is being so idiotically obvious with their bigotry. Crap like this will do nothing but seal the Democrats together. Like glue…So GOP, go ahead and bring on the blackface. I double dog dare ya.”

Honestly, nothing would suprise me at this point.  Although it’s not overtly stated, I’m assuming this was not sponsored by the GOP organizers.  Regardless, it speaks volumes to the massive racial fissures between red and blue states.

By that standard, the dustup  in Salt Lake City over the Obama sock monkey screams it.  As if the utter ignorance in missing the monkey’s offensive potentcy as a symbol wasn’t implicit enough, the people who tried to sell it before they were overwhlemed with virulent opposition decided to whine to the Salt Lake Tribune and dig the hole about 10 feet deeper:

We at TheSockObama Co. have some questions to pose. What’s really going on in America? In the good ol’ fashion spirit of entrepreneurialism ; free enterprise has been censored, and TheSockObama politically plush toy has been discriminated against in the marketplace of the United States of America.

Double standards appear to be a common thread here. It’s okay for there to be hundreds of thousands of Google sites containing references to our current president’s resemblance to a chimpanzee. However, it’s not okay to make that same association regarding our possible next president. Isn’t this the very definition of hypocrisy? We find this to be both obvious and curious in the same breath. 

To the black person brave enough to be first set foot in Utah, when you choose to cross into those uncharted waters, you have a long task ahead of you.

Thanks to Ryan for the tips on both items.

Republican candidates went tête-à-tête in the umpteenth debate of the campaign season in Iowa yesterday.

The whole thing played out more like a special RNC episode of SNL, where the candidates played parodies of themselves. (Who says there isn’t such thing as good TV during a writer’s strike?). Throughout, the presidential hopefuls managed to dodge, duck and talk their way out of giving anything resembling straight answers. (A poll conducted by the Des Moines Register found that viewers felt discussion of the issues “lacked detail.”)

A highlight, for me, was when a small spat broke out about global warming, briefly interrupting the otherwise canned banter and scripted responses. Fred Thompson channeled his alter/ultra persona, NYC D.A. Arthur Branch, playing hardliner when debate moderator Carolyn Washburn asked for a show of hands from those candidates who believe climate change is a serious issue and a problem caused by humans.

A timid raising of hands was suddenly interrupted by Thompson cutting in. “I’m not doing hand shows today!” he said and Romney quickly lowered his own sad hand and started applauding Thompson’s response.

After a few seconds of quasi-confusion, the candidates managed to all agree that climate change is important, that combating it can help our economy, and that people maybe, sorta, kinda contribute a little bit, perhaps.

The most rational and on-point answer came via the Straight Talk Express. Sen. John McCain, who always seems a little embarrassed to be involved in any of this these days, dropped this bomb: “Suppose that climate change is not real and all we do is adopt green technologies, which our economy and technology is perfectly capable of, then all we’ve done is given our kids a cleaner world. But suppose they’re wrong and climate change is real and we’ve done nothing. What kind of planet are we going to pass on to the next generation of Americans?”

Favorite answer, though, came from the fired-up rhetorician and former ambassador Alan Keyes, who with a whopping 49 supporters in Iowa, had nothing to lose: “I’m in favor of reducing global warming because I think the most important emission we need to control is the hot air emission of politicians who pretend one thing and don’t deliver!”

Now that’s what I’m talking about! Retire please the double-speak and non-committal responses and replace them with revved-up trash talking and elbow throwing and we’ll all start watching again, at least until the next season of ANTM premieres.