Thanks to John McCain, Joe the Plumber has made it BIG TIME. McCain had to lean on his old “buddy” Joe to keep his ground during yesterday’s presidential debate. Are we noticing a trend here? When the going gets tough, McCain gets—Sarah Palin . . . Joe the Plumber . . . who’s next, Bob’s Big Boy?

Someone left his windshield wipers on during last night’s debate. They say blinking is an indication of nervousness or lying, I say it’s an indication of getting straight-up whooped. Both McCain and Palin have problems keeping the blink-blink (or, ahem, the wink-wink) under control during debates and interviews. No surprise there. (Another idea: Is McCain one of Snow White’s Seven Dwarfs? McBashful!)

Not a fan of PDAs? Live it up in Dubai! The two Brits who met at an all-you-can-drink champagne bar (aka Heaven) were allegedly caught having sex on the beach in Dubai back in July and were charged with public indecency, drunkenness, and—dah, dah, DAH—sex outside of marriage. At a hearing today, they got fined and sentenced to three months in jail.

The dude who wants to sue God has a problem—beyond the cuckoo, cuckoo. He doesn’t have a home address for The Old Man upstairs and without that address, the court won’t let him pursue his lawsuit against the higher power, whom he says is responsible for the death and terrorization of millions. He also claims God made threats against him and all his peeps in Omaha. He’d would be better off suing all them voices in his head—but that’s assuming anyone’s actually home.

The more your parents know. More celebs dippin’ their toes in the puddle of politics, I know, I know. Enough already! But that “Gossip Girl” chick and her gang of young, rich celebuddies refashioned one of those anti-drug, afterschool special vids, directed it at their parents, and actually made it relevant: “Mom, Dad, I found this in your room today . . .”