Kate Winslet

The Week in Gossip: Who’s Way Cooler Than His Uptight Mom?

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

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Cruz Beckham is a gangsta. While his mother wore the most restrictive of pencil dresses and the frowniest of frowns to a 4-year-old’s birthday bash, Cruz hit up his party looking like THE MAN. Mask? Check. Fake, plastic six-pack? Check. Scissor hands? Check. Take note, Momma Posh: This is how to get things done. (And, if the Wolverine getup wasn’t enough, the little man fashionist-o left the party with a completely different look. Iron Man fan, anyone?)

Nicky Hilton made a citizen’s arrest on some poor homeless dude. OK, so the dude “attacked” her, but still—who wouldn’t spot a Hilton walking into an IHOP and get a very strong urge to make a grab for one of those thousand dollar extensions? Who…wouldn’t?

Let’s. Talk. Oscars. Jai Ho! Slumdog took the night, raking in a total of eight Oscars, including big, bad “Best Picture.” Sean Penn was named “Best Actor” and Kate Winslet beat out my beloved Meryl Streep for “Best Actress.” The dearly departed Heath Ledger took “Best Supporting Actor” for his role in “The Dark Knight,” and Penelope Cruz took home the “Best Supporting Actress” trophy for her role in that movie with the really long, name-ish (”Vicki-Christina-I-Have-An-Itch-Where’s-The-Nearest-Drug-Store-In-Barcelona?”) title. And Mickey Rourke—Was. Robbed. PLUS—Sharon Stone took her nipples for a walk down the Red Carpet, but they sadly didn’t win any last minute accolades.

Want to know more? Click here for a video list of the top ten Oscar moments. And here for an awesome Red Carpet recap. And here for an even awesomer Red Carpet recap.

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Mom Jeans: Rosie O’Donnell popped in for a visit on “The Tyra Banks” show to talk about her woes with menopause and how one Mom ‘O Muscle gal pal (aka: Louis Vuitton’s new naughty hottie) is giving her all kinds of helpful tips, tricks, and…”the cream.” <…crickets, crickets…> The cream. Did this discussion just take a turn down the NSFW aisle?

What skinny reality show host is putting the moves on a beefy Hardee’s Bacon Western Thickburger in an upcoming commercial? (Hint: She’s obviously not the gourmet foodie she plays on TV—WHICH IS WHY CARLA WAS ROBBED! My favorite muppet should have won in this week’s finale episode, biatches! You know this.)

The Octo-Mom is still squeezing the most out of her 15 secs of defame. Nadya Suleman and her level-headed mother had an on-camera verbal dispute that goes absolutely nowhere—but is still totally worth every minute of our time. While Suleman goes on and on about the sanctity of life, her mother calls her a dumbass (in so many words) again and again. Typical loving fam, no? But then, news broke later this week that Suleman possibly conned some dude into volunteering sperm to her cause by pulling a fictitious cancer card out of her unremorseful arse. Can somebody please get this woman institutionalized?

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The Week in Gossip: Operation Winehouse

Friday, January 16th, 2009

They tried to make me go to a health spa, and I just crawled, crawled, crawled…Amy Winehouse, who is supposed to be detoxing at the Le Sport Spa in the Caribbean, is keeping a low profile—so to speak. Winehouse is so hard-up for a drink that she’s getting on all fours, crawling up to tables, and stealing drinks from other guests—which leads me to our quote of the week: A source at the resort told The Sun that they keep catching Winehouse “crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.”

Question: Who packs an empty (but very real) grenade into his carry-on luggage? Answer: Johnny Jackass. LAX security officers noticed a suspicious-looking explosive in Johnny Knoxville’s bag yesterday and pulled him aside for investigation. No explosives were in tow, but a legit grenade was definitely on board. Ha. Ha. Ha. Knoxville was given a citation and promptly released to go make his flight. Special treatment much? [UPDATE: Knoxville says a wardrobe assistant had put the prop in his suitcase.]

Wanna see Ryan Seacrest get the cold shoulder from Brangelina at the Golden Globes? Pop some popcorn. This is good! (And in less important news: Kate Winslet was a big winner, taking home two globes. Slumdog Millionaire went all Michael Phelps on us too, with four globes. “30 Rock” kicked ass, as usual. And then there was Mickey Rourke.) For more serious coverage of the Globes, click here.

Who’s itching for a little more attention before the cool kid comes to town? I’ll give you one guess.

Spears and Poehler and Duff, Oh My! Sarah Jessica Parker reportedly wants Brit-Brit to partake in the Sex and the City movie sequel. Perhaps we should remind SJP that Brit’s last trip to the box office was for a little whoop-dee-doo called “Crossroads,” which proved to be a total flop. In small screen news, Amy Poehler will star in a new “Office”-inspired sitcom on NBC. The sitcom will follow the ins-and-outs of small-town government bureaucrats. Hmm. Finding humor in the incompetence of our government officials and administrators? Sounds more like the “Twilight Zone” to me! And here’s the real kicker: Hillary Duff will star in a new legal sitcom on NBC. Yes, that’s right—a legal sitcom. Duff will play a young lawyer in a Doogie Howser-ish sort of role. The name of the series? “Barely Legal.” And no, it’s not a porno.

TOP GUN OF THE WEEK: Chelsey B. “Sully” Sullenberger III, the “Hero of the Hudson.” Can I get a “W00t! W00t!” for the pilot who kept calm and kicked ass when his plane lost both of its go-go-gadget engines yesterday? Sully’s four decades of experience saved 155 lives, including that of an infant’s, when he managed to execute an impromptu landing in the Hudson River.  Bad. Ass.

And finally — Beyoncé, is that YOU? . . .

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The Week in Gossip: Presidential Pup Fight

Friday, November 7th, 2008

When Obama let the cat out of the bag that he would follow through with his campaign promise to get the kiddies a new pup for the White House, all barking let loose. The Dog Whisperer weighed in, The New York Times had some suggestions, ABC News aired a search-for-the-First-Pup segment as part of its “election coverage,” and then—the pups themselves engaged in heavy duty campaign mudslinging and self-promotion. The week in gossip doesn’t get any juicier (or more catty) than this.

Oprah tells Brad Pitt who she thinks he should think he’s in love with. That’s right. The Queen Bee has spoken and she thinks Angelina Jolie is the love of Brad Pitt’s life. And Oprah is never wrong. (You know what this means, Jennifer Aniston—a lifetime of Johnny Douchebag for you!) Pitt reportedly told Oprah in an interview (set to air Nov. 18) that six kids ain’t enough. “It’s the greatest endeavor I’ve taken on,” he said, and went on to indicate that he’d like more. To which I say: STOP. THE. MADNESS. I believe the children are our future, but I also believe his kind of hotness needs to spend more time in front of a camera. Wearing the bare minimum. Am I wrong?

J.Hud says farewell. Funerals for Hudson’s deceased mother, brother and nephew were held at Chicago’s Apostolic Church on Monday. Oprah Winfrey, Queen Latifah, Clive Davis, “American Idol” winner Fantasia Barrino, and the mayor of Chicago were in attendance. It’s been two weeks since Hudson’s mother and brother were discovered dead and still no one has been charged. However, Hudson’s brother-in-law is still a “person of interest.”

Who is that on the cover of Vanity Fair? Your guess is as good as mine.

50 Cent + ol’ Bette Midler = For reals. Who would’ve thunk the two would ever share a headline, but here it is. Midler apparently hit up the rapper to collaborate with her on a community service project in Queens, New York. The project? A gangsta garden—w00t! w00t!

R.I.P. Sarah Palin, I mean Tina Fey, I mean . . . whoever the hell I mean. Or maybe I mean SNL. Fey announced that she’s retiring her Palin impersonation, which is a little hasty, if you ask me. With Palin stepping off of airliners in Alaska to crowds cheering “2012! 2012! 2012!”—methinks we’re gonna need something to laugh about come four years. Caribou Barbie’s candidacy is funny, but without Fey, it’s not that funny.

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