obama

Amuse Bouche: Obama in “The District”

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

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As if Obama’s rise to the presidency needed anymore excitement, the folks over at Newsweek took a cue from MTV and gave the good prez his very own reality show. You might think The District wouldn’t be as juicy as The Hills or The City, but let’s remember—this is Washington, where congressional cat fights and shit-talking senators abound. Purrrfect!

Episode One (below) follows “Team Obama” as they man up to attack the economic crunch “Team George W. Douche” left behind. Don’t be fooled by Obama’s long, blank stares—that’s just the reality show way of indicating that drama is upon us—because the man is always up to the task. One trillion dollar stimulus bill at a time.

Eat your heart out, Lauren Conrad.

In the News: To Stimulus or Not To Stimulus?

Friday, February 6th, 2009

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…That ain’t the question.

Obama is a man with a mission. He’s gonna pass this damn stimulus package, and he’ll pass it whether the Republicans like it or not.

“The time for talk is over, the time for action is now,” Obama said in a speech at the Energy Department yesterday.

An $800 billion version of the bill swept through the House without a single GOP nod of approval last week. It’s now in the Senate (with a new price tag of nearly $900 billion) and Obama’s been doing his darndest to woo some Republicans—but it’s going to take more than a bipartisan Super Bowl party and a few one-on-one parent-teacher conferences to get those conservative penny-pinchers on board.

A bipartisan group of senators is currently working to cheapen the package by cutting social initiatives that won’t immediately stimulate the economy. Blah, blah, blah. As time drags on, Obama’s getting more and more antsy to throw around some money, create a few jobs, and pop a few economic anti-depressants.

And so the Dems are gearing up to take a vote and pass the bill, with or without Republican support.

“Not … so … fast … !” some say—and around we go again …

Amuse Bouche: Obama’s Sex Life on Fox News

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

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That model of totally unbiased and legit broadcast news reporting—Fox news—has done it again. When the network’s Detroit affiliate called in its resident “Love Doctor” to discuss the ins and outs (so to speak) of Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship, the sexpert backed into a Freudian flip. Pay attention MSNBC. Lookee here CNN. This is “hard-hitting” journalism at its finest:

Redefining “American”

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

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Traveling out of DC on the morning after the Inauguration was actually more difficult than getting in. As we waited thirty minutes to get a free cab, I noticed this sign in the trash. Apparently even the anarchists are excited about President Obama! I had a long cab ride in traffic to BWI while poor Jared had to endure a charter bus ride from hell to get a good airfare out of Philly.

On my flight to Houston I sat next to an African American woman who let me borrow her newspaper so I could read the full text of Obama’s speech. I’d missed a lot of it during the ceremony because the sound system didn’t quite reach where we were standing. After reading it, I broke into tears, my first emotional moment of the whole trip.

I was firstly just so grateful that we had chosen a leader who is intelligent and speaks in complete, coherent sentences. Second, I share more values with the President than not—a first for me when it comes to political figures. Third, the country is facing arguably the greatest challenges we have ever confronted, but I sense more optimism and can-do-it-ness in rising to the challenge, than cynicism or apathy than ever before. And lastly, I was proud of America for doing the right thing—for electing the better man, and for overcoming racial bias to do so.

As I handed the paper back to my seat mate with tears rolling down my face I  said, “I am so grateful.” She said to me, “I’m so glad to be sitting next to you, honey. God bless you.” There was so much more communicated in that moment than what we said to each other—and I’m not sure I can find the words to describe it exactly. But we found ourselves on the same side, beyond the divides that would have previously kept us from connecting. We transcended something so ubiquitous and tacit that we don’t even have a word for it. Its one of those things that only becomes noticeable when you suddenly sense its absence.

As she continued to read the paper, she showed me a story about Angola Prison where the inmates had been allowed to watch the inaugural ceremony on TV. The picture showed a man who has been in prison since 1957, doing a life sentence for two murders. She reminded me that according to the US Department of Justice, 32% of black men will enter prison during their lifetime, as opposed to seventeen percent of Hispanic males and six percent of white males. Yeah, there’s that, I thought. How are we going to change that one? But what I said out loud was, “You know, I think that is going to change too.”

What happened next during my four-hour layover in Houston reinforced that nascent hope, when I struck up a conversation with a young African American man behind the cash register at a Mexican restaurant. At first I picked up on his energy of subtle hostility, but when I made a comment about Obama’s busy first day he broke out a huge smile and started talking to me like I was one of his homies instead of some white lady buying a taco. “My man ain’t wastin’ no time,” he said. “He got up and said, ‘We gonna get down to business, we got some work to do. We gonna make some changes today.’”

It was so awesome, he and I were suddenly “us” instead of “them.” Then he said something that blew me away. He said “Today I’m an American. I ain’t African American no more. Today, I’m an American.” “Right on, my brother,” I said and gave him a high five.

I think this might be the first evidence that a tectonic shift in race relations is taking place. And what is happening is redefining what it means to be American. I think we are going to see some amazing things on a human-to-human level, as long as we stay open and reach beyond our old ethnocentric divides to connect with others. Do the experiment for yourself and see what happens when you tell an African American stranger on the street how happy you are that Barack Obama is our new President.

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The Week in Gossip: “Solid As Barack”

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

The big buzz of the week was the inauguration of our 44th president—finally! We all know what the ticket holders-who-never-made-it-into-the-ceremony did all day long in D.C. and what the west coast peeps were up to, but what about the celebs? If any group was into making Barack Obama the next SuperPrez, it was the Hollywood gang. They YouTubed the sh*t out of themselves for his campaign, so what are they up to now that the job’s all done?

ICYMI – Ashford & Simpson’s – Solid As Barack @ Yahoo! Video

The Has-Beens rallied for the Will-Be. Ashford & Simpson, the duet that produced the catchy “Solid” (as a rock) ditty back in the ’80s revamped the song and sang it for Larry King. Their vocals were a little stale, but they got one thing right: “The future looks ha-ha-ha-hawt!” (They’re not laughing. They’re just bringing st-st-st-stuttering back, ye-ah!)

THE SUPER STAR WHO TYPES LIKE A DAMN SERIAL KILLER JUST WANTED THE HATERS OF THE WORLD TO LET HIM BE GREAT AND ACKNOWLEDGE HIS GREATNESS BY NIXING THE CRITICISM AND BUYING THE UN-PRETENTIOUS LOUIE VUITTON (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) SHOES HE HELPED DESIGN (PLUG!). PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, HE BEGGED, JUST GIVE HIM A BREAK!!! AND DON’T BOTHER TELLING HIM HOW BADASS HE WAS WHILE PERFORMING FOR OBAMA THIS WEEK. HE LOOKED DAMN GOOD IN HIS SUIT. HE KNOWS THIS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE OUT AND CAPS LOCK, B*TCHES!!!!!!!!!

Aretha Franklin went hat shopping, couldn’t find what she was looking for, and ended up throwing on this old thing, which kinda-sorta upstaged her performance on Tuesday. The hat already has its own Facebook fan club with over 18,000 members. Bow-yah! Move over Barack, methinks we inaugurated more than just you on Tuesday. America, make way for a new trend

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Guess who got their very own Jonas Brothers for being the most well-behaved first daughters of all time? (No, not the Bush twins. Obviously.) While Mom and Pop were making the rounds all over every dance floor in town on Tuesday, Malia and Sasha were watching High School Musical 3 with their gal pals and then embarking on a White House scavenger hunt that culminated with . . . the Jonas bros. So much for being “well-behaved.”

Speaking of the Bush twins, they got together and wrote a sweet note to the Obama girls, detailing the ins, outs, ups, and downs that come with being part of the American royal fam. Unlike their father, who also wrote a note to his successor, the Bush girls didn’t have to use “Hooked On Phonics” to get the task akomplished. Zing!

Ah, what a week. What a glorious, jam-packed, fulfilling, exciting week. Now it’s time to sit down, pat ourselves on the backs for a democratic job well done, and catch up on some much-needed shut eye while President Obama gets to work. Or…not.