olympics

Daily Round Up! Maoist Re-education Edition

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Pow! Bam! Guess Who? Not Gonna Tell You! While we’re anxiously teetering on our laurels waiting for Obama’s Boy Wonder to fly in his yellow cape, some men hope that Obama’s Robin is actually, um, a Catwoman. (Michael Moore swears Obama’s VP should a should be a certain Kennedy and Nader believes is none other than lil’ Hill, confident that Obama isn’t “dumb” enough to pick another staid, white, gov/senator. Speaking of other mystery people…

If You Thought a Certain Someone’s Bengali Child was Being Hidden…You may have never heard of Kathleen Hensley Portalski, but she’s certainly paying close attention to the campaign…and her sister. Wazzatz?! The half sister of Cindy McCain, hidden under layers of wool, is pissed off that she’s never been mentioned during the campaign. NPR reported this week that she is more than a little tiffed with Mrs. John McCain who continually claims she is an only child. “I’m upset,” 65-year old Portalski, and the un-heir (left only $10,000) to the Hensley throne says. “I’m angry. It makes me feel like a nonperson, kind of.” So why couldn’t Cindy McCain simply admit to a half-sister? That’s cold…

But Not as Cold As…Elton John’s new ice cream flavor which is like a tiny dancer on my tastebuds!

In Thought-Reform News: The NY Times is reporting that two adorable old Chinese women are being subject to a year of “re-education through labor,” after the 77 and 79-year old “made five visits to the police this month in an effort to get permission to protest what they contended was inadequate compensation for the demolition of their homes in Beijing.” According to state news, 77 people have filed public protest permits, and zero have been approved.

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Afternoon Tea: News Roundup

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Denver Debauchery With just 10 days until the Democratic National Convention kicks off. The media is salivating over every scheduling change and RSVP. The Obama camp has decided to let Hillary Clinton’s name be added into the mix to appease the legions of Clintonites who won’t quit ’til their gal has a fair shot at clinching the nomination. Some are concerned that HRC is scheming to steal the spotlight, but we know that the big O will be the shining star. And we’re not talking Obama — Oprah has confirmed that she’s leaving the windy city to attend Obama’s big Thursday night speech. Smart, considering that everything she touches turns to gold and some university researchers are saying that the chatty surrogate has already delivered one million votes to Barack. Former Virginia Gov. and U.S. Senate candidate Mark Warner has been tapped as a keynote speaker, leading some to speculate whether he’ll ultimately get the veep nod (meanwhile, reports are swirling that Sen. Joe Biden is quickly climbing the short list). Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who has been charged with assault and perjury, has gotten the go-ahead from a judge to leave the state for the big event…. though we’re not sure why Democratic leaders would want him there.

Xtreme Campaigning Aspiring First Lady Cindy McCain demonstrated the dangers lurking on the campaign trail yesterday when she sprained her wrist shaking hands with an “enthusiastic supporter.” Apparently she has carpal tunnel syndrome or something… maybe from transcribing all her luddite hubby’s e-mails? The GOP nominee has been fundraising this week and talking to people about their hardships and the failing auto industry in the swing state of Michigan to show he cares more than his vacay-bound opponent. He’s also hinting that he might be open to a veep who doesn’t completely abhor abortion rights

Conflict Continues The Georgian government says Russia just won’t let up. Moscow continues to ignore warnings from the U.S. — Secretary of Defense Robert Gates maintains that we won’t intervene with force, so we’ve sent Condi to broker a cease fire that will hold up. The BBC has a day-by-day breakdown of what’s happened so far.

In it to win it In case you haven’t heard yet, Michael Phelps is, like, paramount to a Greek God. He’s closing in on breaking the standing record for most golds in an Olympics Games and has been named the “icon of the games.” Not everyone is showcasing good sportsmanship. A Swedish wrestler threw his medal in a tantrum of sorts after getting upset over the judging. Chinese gymnasts snagged a gold, but the U.S. says they’re cheating because their team members too young. And as NBC’s “multimedia phenomenon” coverage blitz continues to draw in record viewers of the Games, Tibetan protestors are clashing with police in Nepal.

Let the games begin

Saturday, August 9th, 2008

The Olympics kicked off today in Beijing with a whole lotta flair.

More than a 100,000 people gathered to witness China’s “night of joy” (as the country’s official news service put it). Not everyone shared in on the fervor, though—groups gathered across the world again today to protest China’s human rights record and rule of Tibet.

Nothing too extraordinary seems to have emerged in the coverage of Day One. Unsurprisingly, security has tightened throughout the country, especially in Xinjiang province, where an explosive attack killed 16 policemen Monday. The LA Times has a smog cam for those worried about the weather. A plane carrying White House press corps was held up by officials way longer than the journos are used to. And, as expected, a whole bunch of superstitious lovebirds chose to tie the knot today to commemorate the special and lucky day.

For those keeping count of who takes home the most loot, Slate has a neat piece on economic predictions for who will get the Gold.

Short and Sweet: Daily News Round Up

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008


A cyclist from the U.S. team arrives wearing a mask at Beijing ...

Gassy Breaking News: The air still sucks in Beijing.

Protesty Breaking News: Cyclists backpedal, apologize.

Dopey Breaking News: The Russians are still cheating.

Politico Breaking News: When it comes to raising money, Obama’s just like the rest.

Fiscally Sound News: McCain likes fiscal conservative superstar David Walker.

Overexposed Breaking News: People are sick and tired of hearing about youknowwho.

Iraqi Breaking News: Iraq has a surplus of reconstruction money, yet we’re still footing the bill.

Breakfast bites: morning news roundup

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

And now…make-up sex: After 140 years of sleeping on the couch in Black America, the House of Representatives has issued a formal apology for “the institution of slavery, and the subsequent Jim Crow laws that for years discriminated against blacks as second-class citizens in American society,” NPR reports.  As the Washington Post points out, though, this comes after apologies were issued to Native and Japanese Americans.  They even drafted a bill to classify the Ottoman Turk cleansing of Armenians during WWI as genocide (it failed).  Not that that any xenophobic or racist act is less severe than another, but say what? It took us this long to get around to making formal amends with the African American community?  ”Such efforts were always bogged down by concerns that the apology would prompt a greater call for reparations for slavery,” says the Post article.  In a word: weaksauce.  We all know that Tron would win it all in a dice game anyways.

That’s hot: The McCain campaign, bolstered by the same, Steve Schmidt-led team that helped G-Dub edge out the ketchup dude in 2004, is launching an all out assault to “define Mr. Obama as arrogant, out of touch and unprepared for the presidency,” according to the New York Times.  This from the 71-year-old who called himself completely computer illiterate.  Apparently the first step is to equate him with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in the minds of voters with a new TV spot.  The Obama campaign fired back, claiming this isn’t the John McCain that lamented personal attacks and vowed to take the high road.  I say they’re both coming off like a bunch of whiners right now.  Can we get to the debates already?

Nobody’s a hipster: If you thought TMZ.com getting more hits than all of the major newspapers sites combined signaled the end of society as we know it, you were wrong!  It’s actually hipsterdom, that vast cultural black hole, leeching all that is sacred and cool from all past counter-culture movements, according to Douglas Haddow over at AdBusters.  There are too many hyperbolic gems in this piece to relay here, but “the dance floor at a hipster party looks like it should be surrounded by quotation marks” should give you a feel for the tone.  The social constructs of the word “hipster,” and the seeming phobia of the word by all who outwardly identify themselves as one are dissected in the piece.  Last I checked AdBusters was a pretty hipsterish (gasp!) site, though.  Pot?  Kettle?  Chicken?  Egg?  Who cares, it’s a fun read.

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