That model of totally unbiased and legit broadcast news reporting—Fox news—has done it again. When the network’s Detroit affiliate called in its resident “Love Doctor” to discuss the ins and outs (so to speak) of Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship, the sexpert backed into a Freudian flip. Pay attention MSNBC. Lookee here CNN. This is “hard-hitting” journalism at its finest:
Paula’s biggest stalker commits suicide. A young woman, age 30, was found dead in a vehicle parked in front of Abdul’s house on Tuesday night. The woman, who unsuccessfully auditioned for season five of “American Idol,” called herself Paula Goodspeed and had been making life-sized drawings of Abdul since she was a kid. Her death appears to be a drug-induced suicide. Simon Scowl was his usual surly self (and then some) during Goodspeed’s audition. (Straight up, now tell me: What mature adult makes fun of the metal in someone’s mouth?) We can only wonder if “American Idol” will continue to air its pre-season contestant-bashing episodes anymore.
Now that we got a black president in the White House, what we need is . . . a black Wonder Woman? Beyoncé, err, Sasha Fierce, wants to star in a new “Wonder Woman” remake. And I want to change my name to Punky Brewster and go have a tea party with the purple Teletubby, but you don’t see me going public with that. Well. Until now.
It’s official: The world as we know it may come to an end in 2011.
Family-friendly entertainment? Not when Tracy Morgan’s in the house. If you missed his appearance on “The Today Show” this week, you missed the most inappropriate utterance ever aired on morning television. (And Kathie Lee Gifford, of all people, thinks “there’s a lot of truth” to his remarks. How the heck would she know? That woman has never stepped her stilettos in any ghetto. Please.)
Is that? No. It can’t be. That’s just—wait, is it? Really? Eww. Are they sure? The National Enquirer says it has the dirt on sweet ol’ Cindy McCain locking lips with some other Johnny who resembles “a washed-up ’80s rock musician.” Fact or fiction? Who knows, but the real question is: What’s this musician’s stance on the energy crisis?
Since when is Newsweek in the business of talking dirty? The mag wants to break the news on a nine-months-from-now baby boom. Reporter Jessica Bennett is taking a poll: Who went home on Nov. 4 and had a little celebratory sexytime fun? And who went home and made a beeline for the shower to wash the Republican stench out of her hair? (Only me? Yeah, that’s what I thought.)
Anyone in the market for a conceited genius? He’s sexy, beyond talented, and itchin’ for some babies, ladies! Kanye West, who split from his fiancée last April, told People magazine that he’s single and ready to mingle— it’s just a matter of finding a woman who can tolerate that colossal ego he carries around and see through all the fame (not to mention those damn blinds) he’s got goin’ on.
Sex in video games—it was inevitable, and it signals an even greater variety of digital sex in America to come. At least, that’s according to writer Damon Brown, whose book “Porn & Pong: How ‘Grand Theft Auto,’ ‘Tomb Raider’ and other Sexy Games Changed Our Culture” was released last month. Salon’s interview with Brown offers a taste of his historical tour of cybersex.
Europe’s four largest economic powers would not agree to a joint response to the financial crisis as it spread overseas. The lack of concert among the full 27-nation membership shows the European Union may still be a marriage only on paper. Leaders from France, Germany, Britain, and Italy announced that each nation would need to respond to the crisis individually, but “in a coordinated way,” according to the Washington Post. Leaders from other countries were miffed at not being invited to the talks.
Dems are set to gain new voters as registration deadlines loom in key swing states. The influx could tip the balance in favor of presidential candidate Barack Obama, but Republicans point out he still needs to get the new voters to the polls. Meanwhile, Karl Rove said Obama would win if the vote were held today.
Is Sarah Palin losing McCain the Jewish vote? A “small, unscientific sampling” of locals at a Florida shopping mall found that some Democratic-leaning Jewish voters who were drifting toward McCain changed their minds when he picked his running mate. One said he found Palin “offensive.” But maybe Salon shouldn’t lead stories with a “small, unscientific sampling.”
O.J.’s been found guilty, and (surprise!) the verdict has sparked debate over whether the jury was actually convicting him of murder. The defense has argued that the jury, mostly white, sought payback for the outcome of the hugely publicized 1995 trial in which a mostly black jury acquitted O.J. Simpson of the murder of his ex-wife and her friend. Jurors deny they were influenced in any way by the previous trial. As it stands, Simpson faces 15 years to life. Sentencing is set for Dec. 15.
Bulletproof leather jackets, here! Get your armored polo shirts! An increasingly popular store in Mexico City caters to politicians and celebrities by selling bullet-proof clothing. Apparently the clerks are required to take the bullet so they can personally vouch for the products. They probably shouldn’t market this line to tourists, though.
Coca-cola is a contraceptive, it turns out, but Diet Coke works best. The study that led to this conclusion (and another one that contradicted it) just earned the researchers an Ig Nobel, a prize for unusual or improbable research. Other prizewinning research found that armadillos can move archaeological artifacts and thereby alter the historical record and that female strippers make more money when they’re most fertile. I just hope none of these studies were government-funded.
McCain’s recent education ad deals Obama some pretty harsh blows. The ad claims Obama wants five-year-olds to learn about sex before reading. And it says Obama has accomplished zilch in the education arena. Of course, it doesn’t speak at all to McCain’s track record on sex education or lessons for the kiddies.
Well, I’ve done a little digging and found that the statements are largely untrue, according to FactCheck.org.
STATEMENT 1: The ad claims that Obama’s one accomplishment is “legislation to teach comprehensive sex education to kindergartners.”
FALSE – Although the Illinois bill McCain speaks of included the phrase “comprehensive sex education,” it also mandated age-appropriate instruction for kindergartners about issues like sexually transmitted diseases, inappropriate touching, etc. Obama supported the legislation because it would update Illinois’ sex education curriculum by making it “medically accurate.” And under the legislation, parents could remove their children from the class – no questions asked.
STATEMENT 2: The Illinois bill mandated sex education for kindergartners is Obama’s one accomplishment.
FALSE: Obama was a supporter of the bill, not a sponsor. And although the bill (SB-99) passed in the Illinois House of Representatives, it failed in the Senate.
Sex is strange.
In America, governors lose their job and honor over a hired escort, and the next day, the said escort is being offered a million dollars to take her shirt off. Meanwhile in Germany, one of the most religious countries of the world, prostitutes donning parkas and fanny packs hang out by Burger King, swapping hellos and small talk with neighbors on their way home for dinner.
Japan, despite some of the strictest regulations, is one of the biggest sex-toy manufacturers of the world, getting around the law by naming vibrators “personal massagers” and “novelty items”. They also make some of the best condoms in the world, because any other form of contraceptives are banned (and have been for a while).
In Kenya, many youths born with HIV find themselves without the right resources and education; in the cities, they grow up in catholic schools, constantly being bombarded with agendas of faith and abstinence, while in many villages, condoms often are completely unavailable to most youths. No wonder that the HIV/prevalence rate is more than six percent (that’s one out of 20).
Me? I grew up in a traditional Korean-Christian family, taught Sunday school, and now work as a sex educator and salesperson at Good Vibrations, “a diverse, woman-focused retailer providing access to sex-positive products and accurate sex information.”
These anecdotes are not unconnected. They all reveal the ironic taboo and culture of shame that is inextricable from one of the most common and obvious human acts: sex. They illustrate the fact that despite enormous propaganda and regulations working against sex, it still not only happens, it shapes and changes politics, economics, and the people entangled in it all.
We build a system of debasement and disgrace around sex. Ambiguous terms like “promiscuous,” “kinky,” and “perverted” create boundaries on how and how much sex one should have. It seems everyone who is not having monogamous, heterosexual, racially-homogeneous sex in the missionary position is not “normal.” Furthermore, many value this debasement, promoting shame as some key to reform and morality.
I am a part of a traditional, faith-based Christian family. My mom rarely brought up sex, and if she did, it was buried among flashing red lights and the repeated imperative of “Don’t.” I am now old enough to need insurance of my own, to share my life with a loving partner for years, and to come to terms with the belief that I can still live a faith-based life while maintaining a sex-positive attitude.
And yet, I pretend like I never even so much as thought of sex while around my mom. I’m not trying to lie or hide things, as much as I am just avoiding the inevitable dead-end conversations, relentless arguments and the incredible sense of disapproval and disappointment she will devote to me. My mother wanted to “protect” me from sex, but failed to create an open and nonjudgmental atmosphere in which I could have discussed with her my relationships, both sexual and nonsexual.
Maybe then, I could have avoided making some of the mistakes I’ve made. No such luck.
No one, no society, no culture can really be “protected” from sex. In fact, most are already quite obsessed with it. Films, books, websites, music and conversations are filled with references to f*cking, making love, bjs and one-night stands. But the problem is that they are merely sexual innuendos, ways of talking circles and circles around sex without actually discussing it, because there is a certain amount of societal reservation that makes sex still a little too gross, a little too taboo, and way too awkward.
It’s this inability to talk frankly and openly about sex, without prejudices and without the wayward ideologies of normality, that prevents any discourse on intercourse. It hinders any forthright discussion of gender politics, sexuality, disease and poverty, about all things related to sex, without a sense of shame and censure. Instead sex and sexual desires are too often scapegoats for the depraved and criminal. They are to be blamed for disease, scandal, and the devaluation of society and culture. In doing so, we shift the responsibility away from real problems in our education, health systems, cultural prejudice and stereotypes. We fail to acknowledge sex as an ordinary and healthy part of society, and instead use it as an excuse for ignorance.
Making prostitution illegal doesn’t make disease vanish. Banning sodomy doesn’t make the world straight. And sex doesn’t translate into love, nor can it sustain love on its own. However, fair and realistic regulations of the sex trade will drastically reduce the violence and crime it breeds while relegated to seedy back alleys. Education can cultivate tolerance (actually, it’s the only way). And responsible, healthy sexual relationships can lay the foundation for strong, life-lasting emotional bonds.
So mom, can we please drop the act now?
