I logged in today and was checking my Facebook homepage, browsing around like I usually do when drinking coffee in the a-m. With the sight of my homepage still fresh in my mind, I got up, and returned a short while later to see that my friend count had dropped by one.

As I prayed that no one else would notice, it gave me pause. Who were you, my friend, and how did our kindred spirit evaporate like a water drop on the surface of the sun?

There is an outside chance that I may have once even sent you a personal message. Maybe when I was so enamored with the new platform and added 80% of my high school graduating class. I believe it said “Hey! Long time no see!”

Or perhaps it was when you first joined, and both Lady Luck and Chance conspired to reunite two people who had emailed about your Coachella tickets two years ago…Gmail Contacts preserving that fated encounter and Facebook’s contacts crawler rekindling the flame.

Either way, something was there.  A missed chance at a perfectly non-invasive WordScraper relationship.  Something squashed as a caterpillar before the beautiful butterfly could emerge.

And with such a bond shattered, such a momentous, profound connection, so as to call someone “Friend,” laid to waste in a callous maneuver of cyberspace passive-aggression, I came to grips with being Facedissed.

A term brutal in its irony because the entire act could not have been more impersonal.

Perhaps we will meet again.  Perhaps not.  I know now, however, that when I spent 28 minutes thinking of the perfectly deep yet cool yet cleverly pop-culture or current-events-rooted status message, I am writing my daily magnum opus for one less set of eyes.  *single tear*