top chef

The Week in Gossip: Who’s Way Cooler Than His Uptight Mom?

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

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Cruz Beckham is a gangsta. While his mother wore the most restrictive of pencil dresses and the frowniest of frowns to a 4-year-old’s birthday bash, Cruz hit up his party looking like THE MAN. Mask? Check. Fake, plastic six-pack? Check. Scissor hands? Check. Take note, Momma Posh: This is how to get things done. (And, if the Wolverine getup wasn’t enough, the little man fashionist-o left the party with a completely different look. Iron Man fan, anyone?)

Nicky Hilton made a citizen’s arrest on some poor homeless dude. OK, so the dude “attacked” her, but still—who wouldn’t spot a Hilton walking into an IHOP and get a very strong urge to make a grab for one of those thousand dollar extensions? Who…wouldn’t?

Let’s. Talk. Oscars. Jai Ho! Slumdog took the night, raking in a total of eight Oscars, including big, bad “Best Picture.” Sean Penn was named “Best Actor” and Kate Winslet beat out my beloved Meryl Streep for “Best Actress.” The dearly departed Heath Ledger took “Best Supporting Actor” for his role in “The Dark Knight,” and Penelope Cruz took home the “Best Supporting Actress” trophy for her role in that movie with the really long, name-ish (”Vicki-Christina-I-Have-An-Itch-Where’s-The-Nearest-Drug-Store-In-Barcelona?”) title. And Mickey Rourke—Was. Robbed. PLUS—Sharon Stone took her nipples for a walk down the Red Carpet, but they sadly didn’t win any last minute accolades.

Want to know more? Click here for a video list of the top ten Oscar moments. And here for an awesome Red Carpet recap. And here for an even awesomer Red Carpet recap.

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Mom Jeans: Rosie O’Donnell popped in for a visit on “The Tyra Banks” show to talk about her woes with menopause and how one Mom ‘O Muscle gal pal (aka: Louis Vuitton’s new naughty hottie) is giving her all kinds of helpful tips, tricks, and…”the cream.” <…crickets, crickets…> The cream. Did this discussion just take a turn down the NSFW aisle?

What skinny reality show host is putting the moves on a beefy Hardee’s Bacon Western Thickburger in an upcoming commercial? (Hint: She’s obviously not the gourmet foodie she plays on TV—WHICH IS WHY CARLA WAS ROBBED! My favorite muppet should have won in this week’s finale episode, biatches! You know this.)

The Octo-Mom is still squeezing the most out of her 15 secs of defame. Nadya Suleman and her level-headed mother had an on-camera verbal dispute that goes absolutely nowhere—but is still totally worth every minute of our time. While Suleman goes on and on about the sanctity of life, her mother calls her a dumbass (in so many words) again and again. Typical loving fam, no? But then, news broke later this week that Suleman possibly conned some dude into volunteering sperm to her cause by pulling a fictitious cancer card out of her unremorseful arse. Can somebody please get this woman institutionalized?

summer tubing

Monday, June 11th, 2007

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Life is a tradeoff: for all the fun in the sun that summer brings, the season also ushers in several months of sub-par television. Gone are sexy doctors and superhero cheerleaders and what do you do with a life absent sexy doctors and sperhero cheerleaders? For all of you in prime-time withdrawal, here’s some quick fix viewing:

Top Chef, Season 3, Bravo, Premieres Wednesday, June 13, 10 p.m.
Bravo is home to some of TV’s best reality shows. (Yes, there is a spectrum of reality TV quality!) “Top Chef”— which is structured almost identically to “Project Runway”— follows aspiring chefs in challenges ranging from junk food cook-offs to sophisticated wine pairings. “Queer Eye’s” Ted Allen, a guest judge on several episodes last season, steps into a permanent role. With its drama, attractive contestants and eye-popping plates, it’s certainly better than anything on the Food Network.

The Closer, Season 3, TNT, Premieres Monday, June 18, 9 p.m.
Kyra Sedgwick returns to the role that won her a Golden Globe earlier this year. This season, Sedgwick’s Brenda Leigh Johnson faces new challenges, professional and personal, including problems in her relationship with FBI Agent Fritz Howard (Jon Tenney).

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List,
Season 3, Bravo, Premieres June 5, 10 p.m.

Bravo has another high-end (for real!) reality show on its hands with Kathy Griffin’s self-deprecating series, which chronicles her career and, in the latest installment, her post-divorce life. Griffin dishes on celebrities but she’s at her best when she’s trashing herself. She might not get into the trendiest clubs, she says, but “when I go to Applebee’s, I get a table whenever I want.”

Californication, Season 1, Showtime, Premieres Aug. 13, 10:30 p.m.
David Duchovny makes a return to TV— but his latest role is no Fox Mulder. This time Duchovny is tasked with making his sex-obsessed, insult-slinging character, Hank Moody likable. Taking a cue from “Sex and the City,” Duchovny’s character will blog throughout each episode.

Weeds, Season 3, Showtime, Premieres Aug. 13, 10 p.m.
The heat intensifies around Nancy’s (Mary Louise Parker) suburban pot-growing venture. Mary Kate Olsen joins the cast as girlfriend to Silas (Hunter Parish). The scene in Agrestic is getting, like, complex, dude.